tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71914110251241234482024-03-12T18:19:40.479-06:00It's a curmudgeon's lifeContent Warning! I say things you might not agree with!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-90234652071801828432015-09-07T19:12:00.000-06:002015-09-07T19:12:13.956-06:00Children are the challenge - Kiera Chapter 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been six years since I last wrote about Kiera on this blog. Two years ago we moved to Iowa. She has developed into a fine young woman and turned a corner last year in which she decided her friends needed to reflect her own common sense. This path was realized by open, frank, and timely conversations. She is surrounded by high quality friends who are nicely positioning themselves to rule the world. </div>
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I am pleased that as she has matured, she still includes her mother and I in her life and her decisions. She feels comfortable enough with us that she doesn't need to hide who she is. Last year, interrupting a moment of silence, she told her mother she thought she might be bi-sexual. There was a girl in her friend group she was emotionally and physically attracted to. A couple of months later she told us she was pansexual. She discovered this scale on the spectrum when she joined the Colors group at school. Colors is a group that supports LGBTQ kids and their friends. </div>
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We didn't dismiss this revelation. We accepted it at face value. We also didn't share her news outside of our immediate family. We knew she was trying to figure out what it meant. She "dated" a couple of kids from school. Both boys and girls. The guidance she received from us was, "Only do what you are comfortable with." We also advised her to take things slow. Don't rush to commitment. Don't limit yourself to dating just one person. Some of our advice was well received and some of it has been ignored. At the end of the day, we are observers. Our only role is to preserve her ability to consent. </div>
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We knew we had little to worry about from the kids she chose to "date". We were less concerned with the fact she believed she was bi-sexual than we were about how our conservative Mormon family members would treat her. The pernicious evil that exist in our world is not homosexual relationships. The evil exists in a self righteous belief that their brand of morality is better than ours. It is in the harm they might inflict on our child out of ignorance and hate. </div>
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Last week, Kiera made it public. She is in a relationship with a girl. Téa is a delightful young woman. She is a senior and has been accepted to the University of Iowa. She comes bundled with a ton of energy. We asked Kiera if she realized she had outed herself when she posted the Facebook status. She said she had nothing to hide. We agree. </div>
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How long will this relationship last? We don't know. We will be moving in a year. It could end long before the move or it could endure in spite of the move. What we do know is that if anyone has anything harmful or judgmental to say to our child, they will hear from us. We would rather end a familial relationship or a friendship than to allow them to make her feel she is broken, twisted, perverted or immoral. Our child and her mental and emotional health are precious to us. What we do know is the move to Iowa allowed Kiera to discover who she is. We cannot imagine how much more difficult it would have been to help her navigate this portion of her life if we had remained in Utah. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-74568195438757566802015-08-19T18:20:00.001-06:002015-08-19T20:31:24.491-06:00Okay South Jordan... I told you so! Dave Alvord is not good for South Jordan!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHY64c0EW1xrHb5khzlQXdZzE0N0dsGZ6zMdEFjILGm-iSD8QjOeQdlR6jKOqAg-qqgIFbbuQmaallYjc-FeMd5ORINAicR1RPLbJ-PDiUgJzcLpoxZM5CD6QNahyphenhyphenLDPkYLvOOZ-d2qkoz/s1600/11898730_973516339358586_658287788835054136_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHY64c0EW1xrHb5khzlQXdZzE0N0dsGZ6zMdEFjILGm-iSD8QjOeQdlR6jKOqAg-qqgIFbbuQmaallYjc-FeMd5ORINAicR1RPLbJ-PDiUgJzcLpoxZM5CD6QNahyphenhyphenLDPkYLvOOZ-d2qkoz/s320/11898730_973516339358586_658287788835054136_n.jpg" width="234" /></a></div>
I would like to remind of you a couple of posts from the past:<br />
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<a href="http://itsacurmudgeonslife.blogspot.com/2013/09/david-alvord-is-bad-for-south-jordan.html">http://itsacurmudgeonslife.blogspot.com/2013/09/david-alvord-is-bad-for-south-jordan.html</a><br />
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and this one:<br />
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<a href="http://itsacurmudgeonslife.blogspot.com/2013/10/sexism-just-another-reason-david-alvord.html">http://itsacurmudgeonslife.blogspot.com/2013/10/sexism-just-another-reason-david-alvord.html</a><br />
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A couple of things to note. </div>
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<li>Neither Federal or State tax dollars are spent on abortive services. Let's acknowledge this. </li>
<li>This letter goes out on the heels of Herbert's ill advised order to defund Planned Parenthood.</li>
<li>The letter is not good public policy nor does it represent one of the most educated voter bases in the State of Utah. It is grandstanding. </li>
<li>This is a veiled attack on Planned Parenthood. It is very clear. Even the comments on the <a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Cdiv%20id=%22fb-root%22%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cscript%3E(function(d,%20s,%20id)%20{%20%20var%20js,%20fjs%20=%20d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];%20%20if%20(d.getElementById(id))%20return;%20%20js%20=%20d.createElement(s);%20js.id%20=%20id;%20%20js.src%20=%20%22//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/Alvord4SJMayor/posts/973516339358586:0" data-width="500"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/Alvord4SJMayor/posts/973516339358586:0"><p>This letter was sent today.</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Alvord4SJMayor">South Jordan Mayor Dave Alvord</a> on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Alvord4SJMayor/posts/973516339358586:0">Tuesday, August 18, 2015</a></blockquote></div></div>" target="_blank">Facebook</a> post make it clear his actions and the actions of the South Jordan City Council are not represented of either fact or the majority of its constituents.</li>
<li>It is heartening to see the number of citizens who not only oppose this policy but are taking the mayor to task over it.</li>
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He also makes the claim that the city should be interested in abortion because it is a matter of public safety.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IDPDzPNVyWe8QKGh6HzYNyh1Kjp4TeLO6O0zLQgHG3SE7IEfyuDiBw0XpcyNFYOzi9H2TR74RO5UIiSe1nyvamWUWMTAsjuy3bW4vtgnGfaKRHqsjmkaMIXFHirgJKPGlBJ77Y7zE4c7/s1600/Alvord.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IDPDzPNVyWe8QKGh6HzYNyh1Kjp4TeLO6O0zLQgHG3SE7IEfyuDiBw0XpcyNFYOzi9H2TR74RO5UIiSe1nyvamWUWMTAsjuy3bW4vtgnGfaKRHqsjmkaMIXFHirgJKPGlBJ77Y7zE4c7/s640/Alvord.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Really?</div>
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The same David Alvord who refused to participate in a public safety program to install An <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Automated External Defibrillator</span></span> (AED) in his dental office. Even though this public safety program, which he was required to participate in by law, would potentially save a life. Oh wait... we are only interested in potential life. He has one in his office now. Do you know why? Because it was donated by the Fire Department. <br />
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David Alvord, now, wants to stand guard at every woman's vagina to make sure they don't show their own autonomy. He wants to put money toward something that has been legal since before he was born. He indicates, later, that he wants to address legal abortion because every has unintended consequences. That unintended consequence is autonomy. A woman does not need the approval of a man to enjoy sex and to choose when and if she wants to be a mother. The unintended consequence of his refusal to put an AED in his office might be... the death of someone he could really have saved</div>
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He says he feels this is a way to directly influence something he has little influence on. This is misguided at best and represents the misogyny so prevalent in South Jordan. If he wants to reduce abortions he should support comprehensive sex education in schools. He should support ready availability of birth control to all of his citizens. He should support STD testing. All of those have been shown to reduce abortions. All of those services are 97% of what Planned Parenthood does. The rest of what they do is paid for by private donations. They are paid for by those who support a woman's right to choose. </div>
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He doesn't though. This policy is not about what is effective it is about his next election and imposing his religious world view on everyone he comes into contact with. The city council is complicit and guilty as well. They are sending the wrong message. It is a message that one of the most affluent cities in the state is determined to hold women as property. If she has sex that is non-procreative she will suffer for it. She should suffer for it! Why? Because god said. </div>
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David Alvord has a history of misogyny and sexism. I have documented that above but let me help you out with this screen shot:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-f-Yb5WEvR9BkstGRec-81vRBudq4h77iji1Bz5NrcIsXsolhQSa6HKyZp76rzQ19jKZRqaLt5zxF_hgkh5GFyG7piYz1uwxCmz4ezxsl-ypQFnwmo25vsMdMmwrUWSnDw2sFQHl7eK4/s1600/Alvord+sexism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-f-Yb5WEvR9BkstGRec-81vRBudq4h77iji1Bz5NrcIsXsolhQSa6HKyZp76rzQ19jKZRqaLt5zxF_hgkh5GFyG7piYz1uwxCmz4ezxsl-ypQFnwmo25vsMdMmwrUWSnDw2sFQHl7eK4/s640/Alvord+sexism.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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And then he thought this was funny. You know in the same way a high school kid quotes lyrics to make is point... out of context.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPWbJ7U1-r-LYuPYXxFSL0fJ5Fa1rSLG97Zg5UpuAPwVqP3KMzM7FQx25hSuYdQYmmRLJ8bHay1v_odpz6Ox9tOROTHstA9T0nHWq_BqH9yoTJSA1le8wbnIyEld_6aRohgTxEQjtw0W1O/s1600/Alvord+sexism+racism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="638" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPWbJ7U1-r-LYuPYXxFSL0fJ5Fa1rSLG97Zg5UpuAPwVqP3KMzM7FQx25hSuYdQYmmRLJ8bHay1v_odpz6Ox9tOROTHstA9T0nHWq_BqH9yoTJSA1le8wbnIyEld_6aRohgTxEQjtw0W1O/s640/Alvord+sexism+racism.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The City of South Jordan can directly effect good public policy. As I suggested above that is by petitioning the legislature to approve fact based, science supported, comprehensive sex education. It can work with Planned Parenthood to reduce the number of abortions through a sex positive information based program. Instead David Alvord is a the lead of misinformation campaign in the city. The facts escape him. In fact he admits he is ignorant to the facts. Does that stop him? No! Facts have never swayed him. I'll say it again! David Alvord is wrong for South Jordan. </div>
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If you want to make your voice on the matter heard... Planned Parenthood is holding a rally on August 25th! Here is the link: </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Cdiv%20id=%22fb-root%22%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cscript%3E(function(d,%20s,%20id)%20{%20%20var%20js,%20fjs%20=%20d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];%20%20if%20(d.getElementById(id))%20return;%20%20js%20=%20d.createElement(s);%20js.id%20=%20id;%20%20js.src%20=%20%22//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/PPACofUtah/posts/1064529840223703:0" data-width="500"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/PPACofUtah/posts/1064529840223703:0"><p>ANNOUNCEMENT: We will hold our official Stand with Planned Parenthood press conference and rally on Tuesday, Aug. 25 at...</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PPACofUtah">Planned Parenthood Action Council of Utah</a> on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/PPACofUtah/posts/1064529840223703:0">Tuesday, August 18, 2015</a></blockquote></div></div>" target="_blank">Stand with Planned Parenthood </a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-74898063363663902822015-08-04T10:07:00.001-06:002015-08-04T12:16:27.275-06:00You may have been born that way... but it was your choice!<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Vpuqk2mMWydENBmJMb5HPtjDtMzXXTVk5ctqlXH9IZS5GQALZD2sIlQ9hnNXZ6FSXjaFHPPalw9XAy5LA0WE6nQ3pwdoozVwQSdAGEw5av2WYxWos8_eyuMg56IRvLhcF7OgT714rI3A/s1600/grondahl6preexistence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Vpuqk2mMWydENBmJMb5HPtjDtMzXXTVk5ctqlXH9IZS5GQALZD2sIlQ9hnNXZ6FSXjaFHPPalw9XAy5LA0WE6nQ3pwdoozVwQSdAGEw5av2WYxWos8_eyuMg56IRvLhcF7OgT714rI3A/s320/grondahl6preexistence.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I recently posted this article on Facebook: <a href="http://www.occupydemocrats.com/a-nun-brilliantly-exposed-pro-life-hypocrites-with-this-hard-hitting-quote/">http://www.occupydemocrats.com/a-nun-brilliantly-exposed-pro-life-hypocrites-with-this-hard-hitting-quote/</a>> It is an article in which a nun calls out the conservatives in this country with this quote: <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"I do not believe that just because you’re opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don’t? Because you don’t want any tax money to go there. That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-</span><br />
birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.”</blockquote>
Now the article is clearly about the way we treat children who are poor and disadvantaged once they are born. The article is not about abortion. The conservatives in my feed couldn't help but make it about that. You can read the entire thread here:<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/kqdudley/posts/10207627350105610?comment_id=10207659129900085&notif_t=feed_comment_reply" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/kqdudley/posts/10207627350105610?comment_id=10207659129900085&notif_t=feed_comment_reply </a><br />
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David, a 20 something white Mormon male who lives in Provo, UT, entered into the discussion. What caught my attention was his application of Mormon theology. I am very familiar with his mind set here. I had just forgotten how twisted it can be.<br />
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In regards to the moral and up righteous, I was recognizing or trying to recognize that there are people of variable moral focuses. My point when using those words was that pretty much no matter what, if a woman who is raped and impregnated, of her own choice, decides to go through the pregnancy and raise the child, no one is going to come up to her and say "You are a terrible person, how dare you do what you just did, it was morally wrong for the following reasons:" because they would have no reasons. If you can come up with one please, go ahead and tell me. As for fertilization and conception, that is focused primarily in both my knowledge of biological science and religious belief. I believe that we were all spirits before we came into this mortal life. <b>I believe we Volunteered to come into this mortal existence because it was only through experiencing mortality and being able to choose between right and wrong that we would be able to become more like our Heavenly Father, the father of our spirits. I believe that when conception occurs, when the ova and sperm cell combine, that that new cell which is now as capable of becoming an adult human being as a baby outside of the womb, is given to one of my spirit brothers and sisters who still lies beyond the veil. <span style="color: purple;">That body, though it be a single cell, is theirs, and just for us the moment it dies there goes all future chances for mortal experience in this life for them, they don't get another body. </span> <span style="color: #cc0000;">This is why the "It would be better if they don't get born in a terrible situation" argument doesn't work with me. I believe the</span>(y)<span style="color: #cc0000;"> Volunteered, knowing full well what they were getting themselves into, to be put in that body.</span></b></blockquote>
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Mormons believe we were all spirits in a pre-existence. The number of bodies are finite and were all conceived by a heavenly father (god) and a heavenly mother. It also could be a father and several mothers because polygamy is still alive and well in the afterlife. They are conceived mechanically the same way you and I were conceived by our parents. They gestate in the same way humans do now.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;">If a child dies in childbirth or in the womb it is considered to have lived its life. It has one chance to get a mortal body. That is it.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQRpns8iKedDMpPttQE1GXVwlyfLdlFhat_hBil4sOAMdz2GqlHkqPE-fv0jP_fPlVZoR4r3uKMzdJzud_TOfCto_Eaos1Zo14v-fcwRbiRKljynciXpWyQus5ynWoyVIyDJpqiQvMICd/s1600/m049x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQRpns8iKedDMpPttQE1GXVwlyfLdlFhat_hBil4sOAMdz2GqlHkqPE-fv0jP_fPlVZoR4r3uKMzdJzud_TOfCto_Eaos1Zo14v-fcwRbiRKljynciXpWyQus5ynWoyVIyDJpqiQvMICd/s320/m049x.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Here is where the theology becomes concerning: Mormons believe that we all choose to come to earth and to get a body. We knew, in some cases we would be born into </span><span style="color: #cc0000;">challenging situations. Those might be:</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #cc0000;">to a mother that was raped</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;">it might be in desperate poverty</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;">that might be with a physical or mental disability</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;">that might be with "same sex attraction"</span></li>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">It matters not the plight... we chose it! This belief disconnects your average Mormon from empathy and divorces them from any responsibility to fix anything outside of their sphere. It also allows them to dogmatically cling to "god's law" without considering the harm or potential harm the the theology may cause. </span></div>
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What Mormon's fail to see is the disconnect in believing the above and the application of "free will" in this life. The life you chose was pre-determined. You knew you would be born to a woman who was raped. Therefore she had not choice but to be raped. The male who raped her had no choice. If they hadn't been complicit in their destiny you wouldn't be able to realize your own. They fail to see how it leads to "this life must be endured" mentality instead of "this life should be lived."</div>
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It is easy for David to regurgitate these teachings. It is much more difficult for him to think critically about what they really mean. This is the pernicious nature of Mormonism. It divorces the believer from critical thought... because that is the only way it can survive. It does that at the expense of the human condition and ultimately harms our humanity. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-18736624524956663052015-06-04T14:38:00.000-06:002015-06-04T18:45:21.179-06:00It is all about Consent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIkU68sScUeceVvhVWY5zdEBV3IV_Nf-xj3tkb_paIl4of3ecf_wOVv5W2tEqBs6L27poBam1KcvZyGWp_tcavqyZ7E4QdfRMomXDXhamZkAe6LOU_ST_1pURjNKAvOtYNWgT7RW8qdmg/s1600/morality-of-human-sexuality-4-728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIkU68sScUeceVvhVWY5zdEBV3IV_Nf-xj3tkb_paIl4of3ecf_wOVv5W2tEqBs6L27poBam1KcvZyGWp_tcavqyZ7E4QdfRMomXDXhamZkAe6LOU_ST_1pURjNKAvOtYNWgT7RW8qdmg/s320/morality-of-human-sexuality-4-728.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of thoughts on Human Sexuality:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First, your sexuality is your own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody owns it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t subjugate it to someone else when
you get married. You certainly do not subjugate it to a god.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As such, as parents or adults we do not own
our children’s sexuality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We merely
defend their right to consent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
defense should be against anyone who wishes to take their right to consent away
from them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think molestation and the
perversion of defining sex and sexuality as sinful or immoral is equally damaging
to a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Teaching children to fight
their natural urges because there is some eternal punishment waiting for them takes away their
ability to consent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Children should be free to explore their own sexuality on
their own terms. That means masturbation is an activity in which they can give
enthusiastic consent to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not something we should wrap in guilt and control (outside of teaching it is personal and
private).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That does not mean it is a
free-for-all. Part of exploring sex and sexuality is acknowledging that there
are ground rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my house that
included a “Don’t Rape” conversation in which we discussed who is legally and
ethically able to give consent. It also means discussing the consequences of
sex including disease and pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
certainly have on going discussions around what a healthy relationship looks
like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The individual defines sexual preference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To deny someone their own sexual identity and
preference, in the framework of consent, is to deny them the ability to
consent. In that, teaching rigid gender norms also denies the child, in part,
the ability to consent, as they become adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are unable to engage in sexual expression that is free of guilt or
shame. Consensual sexual behavior should not be wrapped in guilt.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it comes to marriage/committed relationships monogamy
is one relationship style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not the
only relationship style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are times
when it certainly is not a healthy relationship style. While Lisa and I have
chosen monogamy and it works for us, I don’t think any less of those who
successfully practice polyamory. I also do not have an issue with non-religious
polygamy, serial monogamy, asexuality, co-habitation, or fetish lifestyles like
BDSM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The question that has to be asked
when evaluating any relationship is, "Does consent exist".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it does, its none of my business.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Pornography is not addictive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That does not mean that there are not
compulsions that exist around sex and sexual behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the underlying mental illness is not in
the media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is in the compulsion
itself. Many studies have found that a stressor triggers compulsions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the stressor is removed, the compulsion
diminishes or disappears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is some
data that suggests our puritanical views of sex and sexuality creates that
stressor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We tell women they are not only the subjects of their husbands but also the gatekeeper of all that is
moral and wholesome in the household.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is their job to watch their husbands so they don't stray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That includes watching the husbands Internet
use to see if he is looking at pornography.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This leads to secrecy and in many case triggers a compulsion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its not the pornography that triggers
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the secrecy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This brings me back to my original assertion:
“Nobody owns your sexuality… not even your spouse”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many reasons to not like
pornography.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may find it
exploitative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some cases it has
been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may find it reflects unrealistic
expectations on how sex works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at the end of the day if consent
is given in the production of the pornography and your spouse views it
privately, it is none of your business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It remains none of your business until he/she asks you to partake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-67045736381279517262015-01-09T12:56:00.000-07:002015-01-12T10:44:31.365-07:00Colonoscopy: Not as bad as you are led to believe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-0dwpsgdveSXL1fLQwVbK-Trbl6DlwCLdJTG_QGvfvkIRgNYf8Ql6hhjaeMfrg9ekjmK00s7O5YP77cZ3HWHDM1eP9I65sbBotFvHV5_Lf3SwQReWAKw7u1H0LFEjwNfgRmIGRpiYyWeB/s1600/1370857057409.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-0dwpsgdveSXL1fLQwVbK-Trbl6DlwCLdJTG_QGvfvkIRgNYf8Ql6hhjaeMfrg9ekjmK00s7O5YP77cZ3HWHDM1eP9I65sbBotFvHV5_Lf3SwQReWAKw7u1H0LFEjwNfgRmIGRpiYyWeB/s1600/1370857057409.jpeg" height="216" width="320" /></a></div>
Lisa and I both had our colonoscopies this week. There is much information on the inter-webs about what you can expect, how horrible the experience is, the worst case scenarios, and as with anything health related or consumer related you look you find on the internet you should know... the whiners and complainers will be the first to review a procedure or product... negatively. <br />
<br />
Here are my tips for getting a colonoscopy:<br />
<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>GET ONE!!!! ...if you are 50 or over and/or if you have a family history of polyps or cancer. It is the best way to detect colon cancer early and to prevent polyps from growing into cancerous tumors. </li>
<li>Have a physical and know your medical issues before scheduling your procedure. This will help you avoid the pitfalls of #3.</li>
<li>Don't read the crap on the internet. It will lead you to believe you already have the cancer, are going to have an allergic reaction to the medication or you are already in renal failure.</li>
<li>Eat a low fiber diet and avoid nuts and popcorn for two days (at least) before you start the colon prep. Think, as you consider what to eat, "How will this feel coming out... UNDER PRESSURE!"</li>
<li>Use Vaseline on your anus. This will help keep your but from cracking and bleeding and burning.</li>
<li>The colon prep is not that bad. The lavage you ingest is not "Nasty". Its not pleasant or delicious but its not nasty. You won't feel like you have the flu. It will literally flush you bowels out. It is inconvenient but not horrible. In fact, neither of us found it was that big of a deal. </li>
<li>Plan to spend time in the bathroom. Take your iPad, a book, or your phone with you. Have plans to feed your spouse, kids, and pets during the two evenings before your procedure.</li>
<li>Drink plenty of fluids before you start. Dehydration is the worst... and it wasn't a problem for us.</li>
<li>They day of your procedure you should plan to have nothing planned. It will take you a couple of hours at the hospital to be prepped, have the procedure done (you probably won't remember it) and to recover from the sedation. </li>
<li>Celebrate with a delicious but reasonable meal the evening of. You won't really want anything too rich but you will want something tasty. For me it was the most exquisite peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Followed by Pizza... Okay the pizza wasn't the best idea. I realized this at 3:00 in the morning... heart burn!</li>
</ol>
It really wasn't that bad. I will do it again in 10 years. My colon was healthy. No polyps. No disease. No CANCER! However, had it not been. I would have wanted to know. That is how I am staying on this path to live past 90!<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-34885307428536777562014-12-30T08:48:00.002-07:002014-12-30T19:46:09.067-07:00Dear Neglected Readers: Its time for an update!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_meObcrbcXJ2943Dt1RcAm7Yinz_9b49idhTSkDFf_L8fApyl6SBXdzxvpcZvLndk5We3LfPDncTgT03eI9CQEDsZe89ZpsjEi68bhuRVZI9i19RmfddAQkJ0T63ol0XEmW3-jkcQlofK/s1600/10356159_10205384708040960_1638183140353175013_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_meObcrbcXJ2943Dt1RcAm7Yinz_9b49idhTSkDFf_L8fApyl6SBXdzxvpcZvLndk5We3LfPDncTgT03eI9CQEDsZe89ZpsjEi68bhuRVZI9i19RmfddAQkJ0T63ol0XEmW3-jkcQlofK/s1600/10356159_10205384708040960_1638183140353175013_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I am now in my second year of graduate school. Christmas has wound down and now I am in that odd time in-between semesters. You know, that time when you should be doing something that will make the next semester easier and recognizing that you just don't have the energy yet to face it. I am Halfway though my program and now am applying for jobs is on the immediate horizon.<br />
<br />
This is our second year in Iowa. It has been nice to finally feel like we are home in Iowa. Although we left so many humans in Utah who we are fond of and miss terribly, we don't miss passive-aggressive and smug Utah culture. We have really enjoyed being allowed to be adults. Iowa normalizes adulthood. You can buy your hard liquor in bulk at the Costco if you choose. Wine is sold on the aisle ends by the checkouts at Hy-vee. Almost everybody drinks coffee. You can find a wide variety of personal lubricants on the shelf at Wal-Mart. <br />
<br />
I have found that being away from Utah and specifically Mormonism, has resulted in fewer conversations about the religion and its negative impact our our family. I have less of need to be surrounded by "like minded people" to insulate me, intellectually and emotionally, from Mormonism. I have unplugged from all but two ex-mormon groups on Facebook. I still visit the A Post Mormon Atheist/Agnostic group and a group that discusses the issues of sex and sexuality in a Post Mormon Context. I have still been know to challenge assertions made by the faithful and occasionally in a dick-ish way. One observation I made over the last year: It doesn't really matter if you are nice or a dick when you challenge the delusional beliefs of others, the net result will be the same. You will be unfriended, ignored, and pitied by them. I have not put up a post related to Mormonism specifically for a little over two months now.<br />
<br />
With John Larsen's exit from the <i>Mormon Expression</i> podcast, I decided it was also time to stop listening to the ex-mormon related podcasts and deleted and unsubscribed from all. I have hid most TBM's from my newsfeed. While I am interested in them as people, I can't really stomach the delusion that one must engage in to believe any of it is real. It doesn't mean religion is safe from my criticism.<br />
<br />
So what is important to me? <br />
<br />
I still rant about alternative medicine and pseudoscience. I openly and unapologetically challenge vaccine deniers and woo pitchers. I will continue to do that because I think it is more important than religion. The harm is immediate. <br />
<br />
Michael will graduate from West High School in in Iowa City this year. Kiera is a freshman at the same school. They both seem to be doing well. They are great kids and we are proud of them. <br />
<br />
I turn 50 this year. With that milestone, I recognize that I am on the downhill side of mortality. I might make it to a 100 (if I stay off Facebook and manage my stress) but it is unlikely. So it is my desire to seize the moment... each and every precious moment. I am no longer 10' tall and bullet proof. I have had friends and colleagues see their time cut short by genetics or poor lifestyle choices. I can control one of those factors. I need to control what I can because both of my parents were dead by 70. I have lost 22 lbs. since August. I would like to loose 10 more. I need to find a away to continue to exercise through the cold Iowa winter. Although through discipline I have avoided the holiday weight gain. Lisa is on a similar path. We want to hold off the health effects that come from poor lifestyle choices.<br />
<br />
<br />
The plan for 2015:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Colonoscopy scheduled for the first week in January.</li>
<li>Physical scheduled for March</li>
<li>Drink less alcohol: Make it a social event or an occasion. Avoid daily consumption.</li>
<li>Monitor blood pressure and cholesterol: Eat less meat and salt and more veggies. This has resulted in appreciable weight loss.</li>
<li>Manage stress: If you know me at all this is my achilles heel. I am an obsessive thinker and a worrier. I have tried deep breathing and relaxation but the narrative in my head always seems to dominate. </li>
<li>Have plenty of sex!</li>
</ul>
<br />
So there it is. I may find the inclination to write a little more as the ever evolving me finds something else to say. We'll see where this year takes me. I do know that I have grown quite a bit in this experience. We are looking around and trying to determine where the next move will take us. What we know is that we are only in Iowa for another 16 or so months. That time will go quickly<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-48598671837346921932013-12-24T08:03:00.000-07:002013-12-24T08:03:57.846-07:00Who is watching and why it matters how we talk about homosexuality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwlCYIo6loGpjvbLZd0ujN_BQjSX1cTCTB1wFn_JeihUORnnFh-mWJ0Y0OiZG3NTZhDD488Re1ZtJm_mc8wQtHJ6G9iZZOJ4DMMdcXVxna45cyKbNDe9lr3B28Bavq_ODGDPnRqCi_NcNB/s1600/994426_10152106316437838_805475460_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwlCYIo6loGpjvbLZd0ujN_BQjSX1cTCTB1wFn_JeihUORnnFh-mWJ0Y0OiZG3NTZhDD488Re1ZtJm_mc8wQtHJ6G9iZZOJ4DMMdcXVxna45cyKbNDe9lr3B28Bavq_ODGDPnRqCi_NcNB/s320/994426_10152106316437838_805475460_n.png" width="320" /></a></div>
A couple of years ago I was engaged in a discussion on gay rights on Michelle Willis's board. The subject was the Jc Penney ads featuring lesbian mothers. It was argument I engaged in with passion. I supported, as I have since 1984, the rights of homosexuals to live a genuine life. I was up against the pious and self-righteous Mormons on Michelle's board. Trite arguments were volleyed back and forth. I knew there was no way to "win" the argument with these people but I was still up for the fight. In the middle of the whole mess I got a private message. It was one of Michelle's friends who had been watching the debate. The messages was a "thank you for the support". 'I thought Michelle was my friend. I can see that she is not.' Was the tone. While Michelle lost a friend that day, that person knew there was an ally who was willing to stand up.<br />
<br />
Last Friday, a federal judge struck a fatal blow to Utah's amendment 3. The Facebook feed blew up. I have engaged in as many conversations as I could on those feeds. Some might even call me a troll because I engage even when I am not invited<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
Because people are watching that is why. I was reminded of this when I read a friends beautiful and eloquent response to his mother who was asking if his support for gay rights would change it it were his own child. He of course said no... and that people are watching. People in pain who are trying to find someone to talk to. <br />
<br />
So when you are fighting equality in your Facebook feed who are you helping? <br />
<br />
Are you standing up for your god? <br />
<br />
Does he really need you to stand up to him?<br />
<br />
Are you standing up for your church?<br />
<br />
Are you on the church's legal team? Do they really need you.<br />
<br />
Are you standing up for freedom and the constitution?<br />
<br />
Are you a constitutional attorney... and don't you see the hypocrisy?<br />
<br />
Who are you hurting?<br />
<br />
You are likely hurting someone who isn't vocal. Someone who is sitting in the dark crying because they feel like there is something wrong with them. Someone who may be your child, sibling, maybe even your own parent. What they are is a human being who needs support, love and acceptance. They didn't ask for this and to ask them to deny who they are is harmful. To characterize their being as a "sin", as a "choice" as a "lifestyle" or one that is "not to be acted on" inflicts an undue amount of pain.<br />
<br />
The LGBT community inside of Mormonism has one of the highest suicide rates. The LGBT community in the United States has a suicide rate that exceeds the national average. It is time we stop treating them like they are throw aways. <br />
<br />
I am a supporter of equality. I support the choices consenting adults make out of love. I support teaching our children how to develop healthy fulfilling intimate relationships with whomever they love. It is not about sin. It is about humans.<br />
<br />
Conversely, I do not support bigotry and on this blog I will identify bigots by first and last name. The world should know who you are. Those who are watching should know who is not safe.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-49015804728550607562013-11-24T09:21:00.000-07:002013-11-24T13:25:26.613-07:00Why it didn't take....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0E-A2SWYvwJzOOyliVoiDSXynI_XFVdeq6C9tstcRrzASf3J49jpoLvnnbwbk_viqYLvbzWsAfnRWPJG4XMFotKOEcnAUYDzUOmGvFldfRIzLn8oOlihlOufUJO9AhlkGJ9SC-sx5ObjA/s1600/X-Question+Mark+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0E-A2SWYvwJzOOyliVoiDSXynI_XFVdeq6C9tstcRrzASf3J49jpoLvnnbwbk_viqYLvbzWsAfnRWPJG4XMFotKOEcnAUYDzUOmGvFldfRIzLn8oOlihlOufUJO9AhlkGJ9SC-sx5ObjA/s1600/X-Question+Mark+3.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I was talking to my friend Grant a couple of years ago about Mormon indoctrination. I offered this Jesuit quote:<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, san-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">"Give me the child till the age of seven </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and I will show you the man." </div>
</blockquote>
<br />
He quipped back, "Well if that were true why don't we still have you?"<br />
<br />
It is a good question. Why? I was raised in American Fork, Utah. You will not find a more fundamental Mormon community. This was especially true in the 70's and 80's. Everything about daily life centered on the Mormon tradition. All of my mentors, outside of the home, were faithful practicing Mormons. I had the utmost respect for them and admired their spirituality. So why am I now a militant atheist?<br />
<br />
As I pondered this question it dawned on me. Because I was never fully "in". My parents were "Jack-Mormons". They lived outside of the bubble. For the first 20 or so years of my life they still believed but chose not to do Mormonism by the book. I think their level of belief started to fall off as they aged. More importantly they didn't accept all of the tenants of Mormonism as truth or even as what they perceived a just god would condone. My mother would frequently ask why. 'Why can't blacks hold the priesthood?' 'Why can't women?' 'Why is this guy a bishop when the whole town knows he is crook?' 'How did this guy get to stay as the bishop when was molesting children? '<br />
<br />
My Dad was known for saying, "Well that's bullshit."<br />
<br />
I learned from my parents, that questioning authority, demanding evidence, and being willing to declare something bullshit when the facts didn't support the claims was a virtue. My personality made it difficult for me to compartmentalize for any prolonged period of time.<br />
<br />
I also think this is why many members do not allow their children to play with non members, children of apostates or children of Jack-Mormons. Because if they find out that it is reasonable to not believe... it won't take. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-8668140076655122422013-10-25T17:06:00.000-06:002013-10-27T09:31:26.670-06:00Sexism: Just another reason David Alvord is Wrong for South Jordan!Sexism:<br />
<div class="sblk" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
1<br />
<span class="ssens"><strong>:</strong> prejudice or discrimination based on sex; <em>especially</em> <strong>:</strong> discrimination against women</span>2<br />
<span class="ssens"><strong>:</strong> behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex</span></blockquote>
</div>
<br />
<br />
My discussion around David Alvord's candidacy for Mayor of South Jordan has been as much about temperament as anything. Well David can't help himself. If you are from Utah and know anything about Mormonism you have probably heard of the <a href="http://ordainwomen.org/" target="_blank">Ordain Women</a> movement. It is a feminist movement that asks the Mormon church to treat members of all sexes equally. They staged a protest during the last LDS General conference. They are brave women who know asking for equality means they risk excommunication and ostracism. However David Alvord, the sexist, thinks it is fair to belittle their request.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLMAhvs6c2K02BSJ2XFkRuBOa0KXA4phCYF3vHkU10dWcVFDFhlBtgYotbi6tn4tmXRRLTY8prHpiFBzU4oDfaEuPtpT-KUzRWROT6pzy8-0QAmiK_tp-tJ8R5uZaMjF05B8M1jlFxeru/s1600/Alvord+sexism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLMAhvs6c2K02BSJ2XFkRuBOa0KXA4phCYF3vHkU10dWcVFDFhlBtgYotbi6tn4tmXRRLTY8prHpiFBzU4oDfaEuPtpT-KUzRWROT6pzy8-0QAmiK_tp-tJ8R5uZaMjF05B8M1jlFxeru/s400/Alvord+sexism.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
So he was supported by a few folks but largely criticized by others for his flippant insensitivity and sexism. As a result, David did what he usually does... he deleted the post. He also did what he usually does... put up another post to make his point.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeyZKuqmzA8Qz8oiUdOKuHuy_4B0-jQ9lLWUw0WluVmyVWlFb2kZK0F8W_FEnWJL8VRvwrYipP3j7XYodVCCxhaso5DyyQq3-QnkrmO6sw5d0To577zyeqWv0V0tlYr1CnfN9YxGKMcLa/s1600/Alvord+sexism+racism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeyZKuqmzA8Qz8oiUdOKuHuy_4B0-jQ9lLWUw0WluVmyVWlFb2kZK0F8W_FEnWJL8VRvwrYipP3j7XYodVCCxhaso5DyyQq3-QnkrmO6sw5d0To577zyeqWv0V0tlYr1CnfN9YxGKMcLa/s400/Alvord+sexism+racism.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I support David's right to "BLURT". I would just think he would use a filter knowing that he was running for political office and someone like me might write about it. Why would he do such a thing? Well, because he was defending the church thats why!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlF-q8QBfHhRBmIkOTNLdKN04-P-SmLVYk9z4p9xnHvUerVNg09-3nRd_cddWGZNf8P9gb3wOGRnDzn-1aoV3jKjfYGj-ZUfYkW3LCoD3sisHHrekiQ-Jm_nGGp3lNSe8tekBlI8HDvxGB/s1600/Alvord+Defense.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="43" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlF-q8QBfHhRBmIkOTNLdKN04-P-SmLVYk9z4p9xnHvUerVNg09-3nRd_cddWGZNf8P9gb3wOGRnDzn-1aoV3jKjfYGj-ZUfYkW3LCoD3sisHHrekiQ-Jm_nGGp3lNSe8tekBlI8HDvxGB/s400/Alvord+Defense.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I think, most importantly, he thinks sexism is ordained by god:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6km_ZPBkMJYRBvKZt4jmucqeCTbWQ9gPOkC7KjRRPk7-Cb3rvAr5iNNzdFQhCAU_LEwXTmyHx1UI0DgHKfoxadNWjP_r9aCD4TzNjZKCHRRuzQKxySuHRDwzZfDFJELV1qmfnoHuJch3e/s1600/Alvord+Gods+plan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="82" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6km_ZPBkMJYRBvKZt4jmucqeCTbWQ9gPOkC7KjRRPk7-Cb3rvAr5iNNzdFQhCAU_LEwXTmyHx1UI0DgHKfoxadNWjP_r9aCD4TzNjZKCHRRuzQKxySuHRDwzZfDFJELV1qmfnoHuJch3e/s400/Alvord+Gods+plan.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
It is becoming clearer that David Alvord lacks the temperament to be Mayor. He has a context in which he looks at the world that makes him a poor candidate to represent the rest of the community. South Jordan needs a leader that is fair to everyone no matter their sex or religion. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-63894583494708729332013-10-03T19:21:00.003-06:002013-10-03T19:21:23.537-06:00Alvord: Wrong on Housing... Still Wrong for South JordanHot off the presses:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEK78PhF51QkmQSQ3YXK-el8il4h1CYsC0ZYq0udWIdqmc3uFV7_Ij4Wi_aolJhwuUtxrBE8W2HZvxfV3CB0TyXE7NugE9nR6QXWxJTq0DFQAhejm0Ia0QM9FZKsJZ8g21cXD54CMOrEdV/s1600/1380059_620529954657228_1498900003_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEK78PhF51QkmQSQ3YXK-el8il4h1CYsC0ZYq0udWIdqmc3uFV7_Ij4Wi_aolJhwuUtxrBE8W2HZvxfV3CB0TyXE7NugE9nR6QXWxJTq0DFQAhejm0Ia0QM9FZKsJZ8g21cXD54CMOrEdV/s320/1380059_620529954657228_1498900003_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
David Alvord, and now his buddy Steve Barnes, are pushing misinformation and fear. AGAIN!<br />
<br />
In the above photo (taken from David's campaign site) he claims there is a link between tax rates and high density housing. He has also claimed that high density housing overburdens the schools and stress the city's infrastructure. There are Alvords and Barnes' claims... and then there is reality.<br />
<br />
This is one of those topics that has been studied exhaustively. There is no negative relationship between tax rates and high density. There is no negative relationship between high density and school size or traffic congestion. And in communities that had low crime rates before high density there is no change by adding high density housing. <br />
<br />
This study discusses the numerous studies on this matter: <a href="http://www.nhc.org/media/documents/Dontputithere.pdf">http://www.nhc.org/media/documents/Dontputithere.pdf</a><br />
<br />
I know, it is a study, it uses objective facts, it is Alvord proof.<br />
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What you might notice that they refer to affordable housing in this study. That is really what Avlrod and his buddy Barnes are talking about. They don't want affordable housing in South Jordan. Affordable Housing units bring in those disgusting poor people who have poor habits. <br />
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Lets look at his argument: "A $500,000 dollar home will pay more taxes than a $300,000 home." This statement is true when said by itself. This statement is inaccurate when applied to the high density housing argument. A home worth $500,000 is not built on .19 acres of land. It is built on at least a .25 parcel and mostly on a .33 acre parcel. You can feasibly build two $300,000 dollar homes on the same parcel. That means now we have $600,000 in taxable property. <br />
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Now we really aren't talking about $300,000 homes when we talk about high density. We are talking town homes, condominiums or apartments. In each case the density of the units equals higher property values for either the management company or each individual owner aggregated in the same area. So we now have a $2,000,000 building occupying the same foot print as the half million dollar home. Alvord's math just doesn't add up. <br />
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So what is the issue. Alvord tells you. It is about keeping the level of housing (or price) high. By doing this you keep the "other" out. What they aren't telling you, is that South Jordan is required to provide a certain number of affordable unit to its citizens. It isn't allowed to discriminate by class. The city must serve the interest of the poor with equal fervor it dedicates to the rich. <br />
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Alvord also claims that he didn't want to debate this issue with Scott Osborne's son. He would rather debate the issues with Osborne... except that he wouldn't. He declined to let Scott make a point in an earlier post. This is what he said: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; text-align: left;">...But I'm not going to use my campaign page to let Osborne spread the talking points of the left.</span> </blockquote>
Because Alvord's arguments are... indefensible.<br />
<br />
Again, Alvord is demonstrating that ideology trumps reality. His brand of politics is just plain bad; not only for South Jordan, but for the human race. <br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-8684583381869649392013-09-27T17:42:00.002-06:002013-10-03T19:31:53.651-06:00Alvordia the new capitol of Glennbeckistan!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirzoPMKuX3wgsGgjtzKKcga8ZT7kI_Z2oT9WVTfvSlQEujsDBDSHyrPd1a9mB9juKKV2GK7tQkLm-AIDyLhHu36VvrNYhEfZo-WgSfpIdWsBPIYRlUrURxnIyDZ-__vIdgMyannABscqZ9/s1600/S-GlennBeckistan2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirzoPMKuX3wgsGgjtzKKcga8ZT7kI_Z2oT9WVTfvSlQEujsDBDSHyrPd1a9mB9juKKV2GK7tQkLm-AIDyLhHu36VvrNYhEfZo-WgSfpIdWsBPIYRlUrURxnIyDZ-__vIdgMyannABscqZ9/s320/S-GlennBeckistan2.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
David Alvord is at it again!<br />
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From the last post on his Facebook page:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Mayor Osborne is not as conservative as the people of South Jordan... </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">For example, Osborne favors the Marketplace Fairness Act. But worse than that, Osborne used his influence as Ma</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">yor to *expand* the tax-collecting ability of the government.</span></blockquote>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">What the act does: is to allow government to collect taxes that it should otherwise be entitled to collect. Taxes that local business pay but that internet business are not assessed giving them an un fair advantage. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">The real thing going on here is this: David has cast himself as a liberal hating conservative. This is evident in this statement: </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Secondly, it's a misnomer. Much like the "affordable care act" makes healthcare more un-affordable for many of us, </span></blockquote>
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See that. He he warning us about the bogey man by invoking Obama (or an Obama policy). <br />
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Scott Osborne made a case for supporting the Marketplace Fairness act. Specifically because it leveled the playing field for small local businesses. <br />
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Osborne responded on Alvord's page. It was promptly deleted. When questioned Alvord's responsed:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"> Osborne's argument is on his page. But let me close with this: The Marketplace fairness act is widely discussed on Wikipedia and other sources.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Heritage foundation opposes it on constitutional grounds, while President Obama supports it. You can infer wha</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">t you want from this information.<br /><br />Read up on it. Take a position, and decide if you like it. I don't. Osborne does.<br /><br />The people deserve to know where we stand. </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Read up on it. Take a position, and decide if you like it. I don't. Osborne does. </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">The people deserve to know where we stand. </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">But I'm not going to use my campaign page to let Osborne spread the talking points of the left.</span> </blockquote>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Again it is about the Bogey man Obama and Alvord is willing to forgo any type of reason if the words or Obama or Liberal are any where near it. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">So what is the big deal? The Mayoral election ins a non-partisan election. It is about supporting the voters in South Jordan. It is not about the divisive political ideology. David would have you believe that the Mayor's office has something to do with the passage an enforcement of federal legislation. It doesn't he knows it but he would have you believe that the Liberals are out to destroy the country. What he fails to acknowledge is the Conservatives have beat us to it.</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">The following comments, in my opinion say much:</span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">Of course, not all of South Jordan is conservative... and there are plenty who vary from issue to issue as to what label may best suit them. I hope whomever is elected mayor will approach issues with the perspective of how they best serve South Jordan residents as a whole, and not be overly concerned with party ideologies.~Andrew Hackman</span></blockquote>
And these two:<br />
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<span style="background-color: #fafbfb; color: #4e5665; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">"I'm not going to allow my campaign page to represent those in the community who may disagree with me. That's why I'm campaigning for political office, to represent my needs."</span> </blockquote>
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<span data-reactid=".r[kh2c].[1][4][1]{comment10202307225265814_7648090}.[0].{right}.[0].{left}.[0].[0].[0][2]" style="background-color: #fafbfb; color: #4e5665; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"> </span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[kh2c].[1][4][1]{comment10202307225265814_7648090}.[0].{right}.[0].{left}.[0].[0].[0][3]" style="background-color: #fafbfb; color: #4e5665; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span data-reactid=".r[kh2c].[1][4][1]{comment10202307225265814_7648090}.[0].{right}.[0].{left}.[0].[0].[0][3].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[kh2c].[1][4][1]{comment10202307225265814_7648090}.[0].{right}.[0].{left}.[0].[0].[0][3].[0].[0]">It seems to me he is running on a "look, I'm Mormon, conservative, and hate taxes" platform, not an informed one. ~Revrnd Skyler Dudley</span></span></span></blockquote>
A vote for David Alvord is a vote for the increasing depths of despair that divisive politics inflicts on a community. It is a vote to make South Jordan the new Alvordia, the capital of Glenn Beckistan <br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-50869361684463538272013-09-19T18:30:00.000-06:002013-09-19T21:41:28.752-06:00Why would David Alvord's Religious Beliefs Matter to Me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMTQYg2oFJRtDhq7Tz7W5DuehhgcNieJLEyU3CnE5SAScCgo-pUqgnA8Z5iB1LKkHVY9By7XQiyPHDqDS8LOBZpsSXeaKSSFEpkVfWq1gQXbHV6chXjjwURUBasRxVmUuT4XBwlohyuwt/s1600/JustSayNo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMTQYg2oFJRtDhq7Tz7W5DuehhgcNieJLEyU3CnE5SAScCgo-pUqgnA8Z5iB1LKkHVY9By7XQiyPHDqDS8LOBZpsSXeaKSSFEpkVfWq1gQXbHV6chXjjwURUBasRxVmUuT4XBwlohyuwt/s320/JustSayNo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
In my last post, I told you why I thought David Alvord was bad for South Jordan. The post found itself on a Facebook page called the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SoJo.OnLineNews/posts/528814880539542?comment_id=3153316&notif_t=like">South Jordan On-Line News</a>. This link brought out many of David's supporters. Through careful research (by quickly looking at the public feed on my Facebook page), They figured out that I don't care for religion in general and Mormonism specifically. That makes me an ANTI-MORMON who can readily dismissed.<br />
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I was only going after David because he is a Mormon and I hate Mormons! <br />
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Now really!<br />
<br />
Kent Money is a Mormon and I voted for him. Brian Butters is a Mormon and I supported him. I am willing to bet Mayor Osborne is a Mormon as well.<br />
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David, for some reason, had been banned from the South Jordan On-Line news site because of something he or his campaign or someone supporting him did with or without his knowledge... He was not allowed to comment but several of his supporters were getting talking points from him. David's behavior, according to them, was acceptable because he was defending the Book of Mormon<br />
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I made it clear that my objections to David Alvord's candidacy for mayor of South Jordan was about 1) His temperament makes him ill suited to be an inclusive leader of the city. 2) He isn't willing to follow ordinances in the City if they don't suit him or his agenda. 3) He knows little about what cutting taxes and increasing spending (ALA George W. Bush Economic Policy) will do to the city. 4) He does not favor and expansive South Jordan that supports all socio-ecomomic contributors. 5) His desire to limit population growth to the "Right Kind of Housing" makes business growth stagnant. <br />
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Now personally, I wouldn't vote for David BECAUSE of his religious beliefs. Not because he has them but because of how he applies them. His supporters were correct. David and I were having a public Facebook debate about the Book of Mormon. He, of course, rolled out 'it is definitely an ancient text we know that because of chiasmus'. When challenged on this, he provided studies... from apologists and faithful Mormons. When his sources were questioned and the non-confirming peer review was presented he became agitated and started name calling. When the DNA evidence was presented, he said science couldn't be trusted... <br />
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What became clear was it didn't matter if it was true! It didn't matter what the evidence showed, he believed it and that was enough. It was enough to ignore the evidence and to behave mean spiritedly. It is enough for him to think himself above reproach and certainly above any type of introspection. He showed that he was a miserable human being who was justified because he was a man of deep spiritual conviction. <br />
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I could not support this kind of individual in a leadership role in my community. He places ideology and theology above evidence. This is fine when he is writing his tithing check. It is not fine when he is making decisions for an entire population or representing that population as their ambassador. You see, you cannot bring canal water to the entire South Jordan population and cut taxes at the same time. At least, not with out damaging the operation of the city. You cannot be pro-growth and end high density housing at the same time. The math just doesn't support it.<br />
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Oh wait, that involves looking at the evidence... something that is not required if you're David Alvord. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-77671478429309832072013-09-14T18:12:00.000-06:002013-09-14T18:12:03.696-06:00David Alvord is Bad for South Jordan<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqknIaiBnSQfMRzDJQuqknay_Am0ilrj5-cwgqg38S-IBOZKT-a8Lv76fLxEJMcon_HaBzQ7UULdznmLWCefAzBRxY1lApmqZNgKUAeRU1s0F0CU-qLh7geiCg1xxlLOrzfjkFsny6wvhS/s1600/red-no-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqknIaiBnSQfMRzDJQuqknay_Am0ilrj5-cwgqg38S-IBOZKT-a8Lv76fLxEJMcon_HaBzQ7UULdznmLWCefAzBRxY1lApmqZNgKUAeRU1s0F0CU-qLh7geiCg1xxlLOrzfjkFsny6wvhS/s1600/red-no-md.png" /></a></div>
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I have known David Alvord for approximately 7 or so years. I first met him when my oldest son needed dental work. As a dentist, David Alvord is capable and friendly. I never had a problem getting my kids to go to his office. The services he provided were at the market price. He was neither inexpensive or too expensive. I liked his office staff and he was centrally located.<br />
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'So what's your problem with Dave then?', you might ask. My problem with David Alvord is that I don't think he has the temperament to be a successful leader in South Jordan politics. He is not community minded. In fact, based on my interactions with David, both personal and through Facebook, I would have to say he is "David" minded. <br />
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David entered into a Facebook "debate" with me over religion. In this particular instance, he used his "professional profile' for this debate. This was during the Facebook period where your comments were emailed on the thread. When he became frustrated he turned personal attacks. Attacks like referring to me as some kind of idiot. Now, he thought better of it and deleted the comment but not before it had been emailed to me. <br />
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David adamantly denied that science was useful saying that he was more about applied science not about everything under the umbrella of science. In the middle of the debate he sent me a personal message to make sure that I would still feel comfortable about coming to his practice. I mean he would hate to loose a patient over his narrow view of science because that would not be "David" minded. I am not sure if he is aware but he did loose a patient or two who had been watching the debate unfold.<br />
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The second interaction I had with David was over South Jordan's requirement that businesses that employ over 20 people or that are dangerous or in a medical field carry an Automatic Electronic Defibrillator on the premises. The purpose of the law is to get more of the AED's into the community where they have the possibility to be deployed. You see, the quicker a heart attack victim gets access to an AED the higher the rate of survival. A medical professional is the best person to deploy the device. David of course objected to this. He took the argument to Facebook through his professional profile. His argument is that it was an unnecessary expense and that people would think getting a filling was risky. He then posted a scientific study that proved you were not at a risk of having a heart attack from seeing the dentist. You know one of those sciencey studies that he is not fond of. <br />
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You see David missed the point. He is a man of means and privilege that could have used that means for the community good. Instead, he looked out for David in one of the most selfish acts I have seen a medical profession engage in. Second only to the doctor who refused to see a child, on an urgent visit, because the child's parents had to file for bankruptcy and couldn't pay his bill.<br />
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The second reason I cannot support David Alvord for South Jordan Mayor is that he doesn't really understand government. He wants to cut taxes. His primary opponent showed that South Jordan Taxes are in the middle. Not hight not low. The community enjoys an exceptional quality of life. That quality of life is in part because of tax dollars. If there was one thing I was impressed with in South Jordan, it was in the management and planning for the use of community tax dollars. For most projects, they saved as to not create a debt burden on the citizens. <br />
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At the same time he cuts taxes, he also wants to bring canal or secondary water the remaining 70% of the city. Does he not realize a major infrastructure undertaking that is? How much money and resources it will use up? While I think is a great idea to have secondary water to water lawns with, He can't do both. He also can't do this immediately. <br />
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David doesn't know what the mayor does and also seems to be missing this point: As Kent Money pointed out to me in 2005, the mayor's office is a figure head position. It has no real influence on the direction of the city. The city is controlled by the City Manager and the city council. <br />
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Finally, David does not favor a South Jordan that welcomes everyone and is inclusive. He favors one that favors "David". Limiting high density housing and rezoning the city back to single family homes only ensures that the community will be made up of the top 10% and the rest of the scale will be underrepresented. South Jordan is already a tough place to live if your are not a home owner. If you rent. the City doesn't consider you to be credit worthy to have your own water bill. Under David, the unwelcome matt will be rolled out further. I wonder how many high density residents he would deny dental service to? I am sure its not many. You see, the policy of keeping "the other" out doesn't help business grow. 90% of the housing starts in South Jordan have been high density single family homes because that is what the economy supported. <br />
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So, given the scope of the Mayor's authority, South Jordan needs an ambassador first. I don't think David Alvord would make a good ambassador. He does not see that South Jordan needs to be a city that is inclusive. He is not community minded. He is "David" Minded. The rest of you are on your own.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-69983018604216239552013-09-08T19:08:00.000-06:002013-09-08T19:08:06.203-06:00It'll Stunt Your Growth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This photo of a child smoking caught my attention today. When it was taken, I am sure there was nothing wrong with putting a cigarette in a small child's mouth. It was funny. I mean after all what did we know about smoking back then? Today we would consider this abuse. After all, what where her parents thinking.</div>
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I had a Facebook friend who recently suggested parents should have the freedom to raise their children in any manner they chose even if that meant exposing them to dangerous factory work at a young age. I of course took exception with this attitude. </div>
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I have a similar reaction when parents expose their children to religious indoctrination. I have seen perfectly reasonable children turned into self loathing followers. I additionally have seen them ignore important flaws in their religion. Those flaws, when observed with a critical eye, proves the claims of the institution false. If they don't absolutely prove it they certainly cast doubt on its validity. </div>
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There is something about indoctrination that causes us to compartmentalize our beliefs and to shield them from critical examination. The indoctrination as a child, carries over to adult hood and derails the critical thought process. </div>
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I have had believers testify to me that they know of many who are religious and critical thinkers. I submit this can only occur through compartmentalizing your beliefs. It is in this attempt I hear statements like, 'god can not be judged by physical laws' or 'we cannot understand god the way we under stand the physical world'. As a result they come to know what they don't understand or cannot prove as evidence god. It is fallacious but imperceptible to them.</div>
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When critical thinking is applied to those ingrained beliefs it is often emotionally painful. For some it is too painful for them to complete the journey. Others explore other paths such as mysticism or alternative medicine or engage in government conspiracy theories because they don't really know how to fully apply critical thought. </div>
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My mother used to tell me I should avoid cigarettes because they would stump my growth. I see religion in the same way. I am as apt to give my children a cigarette as I am to teach them to worship a myth. In many ways I think the cigarette is less harmful. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-78435033533929441762012-12-29T18:07:00.003-07:002013-05-17T20:49:37.341-06:00Gender is Essential?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/fL-Z0_MqzKM/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fL-Z0_MqzKM&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fL-Z0_MqzKM&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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EDIT!</h2>
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YouTube, allegedly, removed this video because it was reported as bullying. (Thanks TGD)</div>
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Follow this link to the LDS Church's website to view it:</div>
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/doctrine-and-covenants-visual-resources#2010-07-132-gender-is-an-essential-characteristic">Gender is Essential</a><br />
The LDS Church as moved the link again<br />
<a href="http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/doctrine-and-covenants/section-120-church-history?lang=eng#2010-07-132-gender-is-an-essential-characteristic">Gender is Essential is now located here</a>!</div>
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The LDS church (The Mormons) published a new website in which it was attempting to acknowledge that homosexuality was an inborn trait. They have noted that it is an affliction that the membership must not succumb to. It also implores members to love those who are gay because it is not their fault.<br />
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This video produced and published after the release of the website is a kick to the preverbal nuts of a gay member. If gender is essential then what about gender identity? Is it not essential. I have never chose to be straight. It is what I am. If your god creates people that are outside of his law.... he is a sadist.<br />
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A couple of lessons for the membership: First, sex is what is between your legs. It is your sex that gives your the ability to procreate. Gender is in your head. Gender is hardwired. It is not a choice. It is what determines who you are attracted to. My gender is essential to my heterosexual marriage. Not my ability to have children. My gender is what makes that relationship satisfying and has made it last for 26 years. If I was attracted to men, I could still make babies with a woman but the relationship would not be permanent or satisfying. <br />
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Second, videos like this, may inform your prejudices but they do not show compassion for homosexuals. They do little to curb the suicide rate. In fact they are harmful. They are harmful to the children who were exploited to act in this evil video. They are harmful to the future of your church. They are harmful to those who are gay, lesbian and transgendered but, too ashamed of the gender your petulant god has given them to embrace it.<br />
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This video is disgusting and manipulative. I am amazed that anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ would offer their time and talents to this discordant message.<br />
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I guess there are no Mormons running for president.... the gloves are off.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-15667109234792199662012-12-28T12:56:00.000-07:002012-12-28T20:38:00.845-07:00Dear Facebook User...As soon as I see these photos linked to your profile:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy27FHrLhDuDJvMdg09RY_5KTGwIYUKZl-AUnMz2O5dOG1tw0MIR3uBZNeIJ9PSIwwsOBZqqYikFYKbd46X215x_MBgL1UK-vvzVR9u53Ud9Ukxm62iMZqjLVYNXAtO0pTQP52DpQPTU0-/s1600/328905_533388013357357_975043721_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy27FHrLhDuDJvMdg09RY_5KTGwIYUKZl-AUnMz2O5dOG1tw0MIR3uBZNeIJ9PSIwwsOBZqqYikFYKbd46X215x_MBgL1UK-vvzVR9u53Ud9Ukxm62iMZqjLVYNXAtO0pTQP52DpQPTU0-/s320/328905_533388013357357_975043721_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2_taGIofoakzLzcEllFhDQHJhG0c_dMAbbYWMZ0uyXQVTfri4REx-QvpRrQJ_kIciDCFs5t0C6E4elKw_Vm_yxehsNKfnnai1lK5B0MKKihPzvNFf1j6D0kxw5JZi349GnRlQJSfxqGW/s1600/393041_10151530713380432_1336038115_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2_taGIofoakzLzcEllFhDQHJhG0c_dMAbbYWMZ0uyXQVTfri4REx-QvpRrQJ_kIciDCFs5t0C6E4elKw_Vm_yxehsNKfnnai1lK5B0MKKihPzvNFf1j6D0kxw5JZi349GnRlQJSfxqGW/s320/393041_10151530713380432_1336038115_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I understand the subtext. It is certainly not compassion, common sense, or a desire to see the nation aspire to reach its potential.<br />
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It is <u>fundamentalism.</u><br />
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For that reason you have opted to be left out of the conversation just like the NRA did with its ridiculous news conference on Dec. 21.<br />
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That's okay... we'll continue without you. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-83658403883116792522012-11-07T15:59:00.001-07:002012-11-07T16:00:42.447-07:00Arrogance , God, and the Election<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3sJSEpuE7PhqWqUq2vcLUZWJrhpxdAFjKyWF0dov7XgyX3i_ZvvAMRgAEzcEEplvCUwO2Xyun2UAXRWtvJIU5AsZTArMqdjpVEJmM3P0mhTjw2-8p_WNsEypp5RHyC271lWXRPne3tSXU/s1600/God+and+the+election.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3sJSEpuE7PhqWqUq2vcLUZWJrhpxdAFjKyWF0dov7XgyX3i_ZvvAMRgAEzcEEplvCUwO2Xyun2UAXRWtvJIU5AsZTArMqdjpVEJmM3P0mhTjw2-8p_WNsEypp5RHyC271lWXRPne3tSXU/s1600/God+and+the+election.jpg" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Helamen 5:2<br />
For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted.~ Book of Mormon</blockquote>
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I saw the above posted on Facebook after the announcement of Obama's re-election and when it became apparent Gay Marriage would be approved in four more states. I have several issues with this quoted scripture. First, it comes from a 19th century work that has as much chance of being the word of god as Nate Silver the chance gave to Romney to win the election. <br />
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Second, It is used to justify an apocalyptic world view. Some how slightly over 50% of the country is out of step with god and we will suffer his wrath. It also suggest that the laws that come from this elected government can be ignored.<br />
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Third, it is used to justify the "chosen people" mentality Mormons have. Somehow the 6 million, give or take 40% depending on how you view activity, living in the United States know more about what it is to be moral and righteous than the 300 million other folks who report they believe in god. No one has suffered more and they will be rewarded.<br />
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Finally, lets talk about choosing evil as suggested by the quote above. Is it not evil to deny complete salvation based upon race. Is it not evil to deny equality in marriage to couples who love each other. Is it not evil to teach children that their normal sexual development is a sin. Is it not evil to propagate the myth of Mormonism on to additional generations when its origins and history have been proven to be questionable and the likelihood it is all made up is more likely Obama's predicted reelection. <br />
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As for me, I support the President. I think we are continuing on a trajectory of tolerance, acceptance, and inclusiveness. We are valuing people and not ideology. I think women, children, minorities and (if they can put aside their prejudice) white men and women will be better off. The election was not an movement to evil. It was banishment of evil. The kind of evil that hurts people. That is what America voted down on Nov. 6th.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-52441306633858694942012-10-10T10:46:00.002-06:002012-10-10T11:15:29.574-06:00Impressions v. Evidence: Why I am having Hall Sex with the Church<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZquB6hemhYZLjA1Sd4hLl5elzk_SqFWUYz0XDKKBwFlfmbihmXqDoQiOfjFg7AgtII6QMOfetFjvloe-mZdTlTgr1jQMTkm6FpDpKrpGJb6U9bdQUhIfHVoimnR2_akEWraJAp-g5xwQ/s1600/lines_optical_illusion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZquB6hemhYZLjA1Sd4hLl5elzk_SqFWUYz0XDKKBwFlfmbihmXqDoQiOfjFg7AgtII6QMOfetFjvloe-mZdTlTgr1jQMTkm6FpDpKrpGJb6U9bdQUhIfHVoimnR2_akEWraJAp-g5xwQ/s320/lines_optical_illusion.jpg" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At first impression you might believe the bottom line is longer. The evidence shows they are the same length.</td></tr>
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Definition:</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #26283d; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"</span></div>
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I was woken to day by my wife who was on the phone to my son. My son was telling Lisa that he had lost his Trax pass on the way to the train. She said they got out late to take him to Trax because she had forgot it was our day to drive him and his class mate to the train station. I was a little ornery because I usually am at 6:30 in the morning. Our conversation went like this:<br />
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Me: Did he put the lanyard around his neck?<br />
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Lisa: Yes he was wearing it. I saw it trailing him as he ran to catch the train.<br />
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Me: Did he take it off.<br />
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Lisa: He said no. I have told him to look under his seat and to make sure he is not sitting on it.<br />
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Me: Where does he think he lost it. <br />
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Lisa: When he was running to catch the train.<br />
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Me: Then it wasn't around his neck.<br />
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Lisa: Yes it was. I saw it trailing him when he ran to the train.<br />
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We took a ride to the Trax Platform and looked for his lanyard. It was nowhere to be found.<br />
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Me: There is no way he had it around his neck and it is not there.<br />
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Lisa: (in a tone that said, "You are an ass. I know what I saw. I was there. You weren't. Keep this up we will only have hall sex for the next month.) I know what I saw Kevin. It was around his neck.<br />
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Me: (Because I know I am an ass) It is physically impossible for a lanyard that is around someone's neck to just fall off. There is a physical object there that prevents that from happening. It's called a neck. So either he didn't put it around his neck or he didn't have it to begin with.<br />
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Lisa : (Glare.) (Didn't you get the gist from my tone in the previous comment. Why do you have to push me). !<br />
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Me: This is bullshit. That kid is going to cost me another $60 bucks for a replacement pass. I have to make a trip into Salt Lake to rescue his sorry ass. (Did I mention I am not the most agreeable at 6:30.<br />
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Because the assertion he was wearing his pass seemed physically improbable. I continued to look around the kitchen, where he usually gets ready for school, and where he dumps his stuff when he comes home from school. Under his coat and his kilt(which should have been in his bedroom) sitting on the bench in the front entry was.... his Trax pass. <br />
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Me: I found it. I will take it to him this morning.<br />
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Lisa: I could have sworn I saw him wearing it. It must have been the ties on his jacket.<br />
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Based upon the goodbye kiss this morning hall sex is probably not on my agenda, that is unless I assert that she is wrong again. I am treading on thin ice.<br />
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As I have given some consideration to this minor crisis it was clear to me. Lisa asserted what she believed to be true. She thought she had seen the lanyard around his neck. However the evidence for her belief was an impression. She interpreted what she saw as the lanyard. <br />
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I, on the other hand, initially accepted her assertion but then some other things failed to add up. Where was the lanyard. Did it make it around his neck. What has been my history with him. How organized is he. There is no lanyard at the station. The evidence was not supporting the recalled event. A little more probing actually proved the assumption was false.<br />
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I related this to the discussion in the LDS General Conference this last weekend on how you get confirmation the church is true. A Facebook acquaintance posted this quote:<br />
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The more we act upon impressions, the more the Lord will entrust to us...<br />
Never postpone a prompting.<br />
Thomas S. Monson</blockquote>
There was this further warning to the faithful and the call to repentance for those who seek truth outside of official sources:<br />
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Some have immersed themselves in internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and in some cases invent shortcomings of early church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.<br />
Elder Quentin L. Cook, General Conference, October 2012</blockquote>
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Using impressions is a poor way to evaluate the truth. Search for evidence should be encouraged an celebrated not decried. The problem is: The LDS church knows there is evidence out there that makes the probability of its truth claims slim to none. It has ignored or denied its past despite the evidence that suggests that past is checkered. They continue to tell members there is nothing to see in a manner that is equal to ignoring the man behind the curtain. This is why I continue to have hall sex with the church. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-83143076205295265662012-07-29T21:22:00.001-06:002012-07-29T21:22:31.195-06:00.... and now for something very important !!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVGwJM14v_uFco24HxmtvL2dsD5SYLUJMawyl-xCIXsSeJ__LXhTFQgrXZIFeEuOyvHhKWo8Kq8qcN1KvjFmCDj4-rzQB0masisKhb3krhIAqZl-iWBEznOAx43zqlN86wyDPczUyg0M2Y/s1600/187861_147178864508_2090279845_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVGwJM14v_uFco24HxmtvL2dsD5SYLUJMawyl-xCIXsSeJ__LXhTFQgrXZIFeEuOyvHhKWo8Kq8qcN1KvjFmCDj4-rzQB0masisKhb3krhIAqZl-iWBEznOAx43zqlN86wyDPczUyg0M2Y/s1600/187861_147178864508_2090279845_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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When my father died in April he left nothing in place. I am still dealing with his estate and selling off the assets. We made a decision, the day he died to donate his eyes. They were the only organ that was in good enough condition to, after his heart attack, to donate. The Moran Eye Center, Utah Lions Eye Bank told us they would let us know the disposition of his eyes. If the components were not transplantable, they would be used for research. I received the following letter in the mail yesterday:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ3XnFqhHnE5LDhkoZJn-_1jRmF2-v-bxWfGvKScDf8BgWni4lLMrj9WBwgae2z8UFnL9ZEUnVypypFjDII5Eg-aloIZC9RbG66T_TfAJCALxflCAWMey4fR31QKSRshxDOh9_L1xC4VVc/s1600/Eye+letter+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ3XnFqhHnE5LDhkoZJn-_1jRmF2-v-bxWfGvKScDf8BgWni4lLMrj9WBwgae2z8UFnL9ZEUnVypypFjDII5Eg-aloIZC9RbG66T_TfAJCALxflCAWMey4fR31QKSRshxDOh9_L1xC4VVc/s640/Eye+letter+copy.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
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I was thrilled and somewhat emotional to read that my father's eyes had helped to provide sight to two people who had been blind. I wish I could blame this selfless act on him. Unfortunately, he did not discuss donation with us prior to his death. His driver's license proudly proclaimed him a veteran but not a donor. He exhibited a "me first" libertarian attitude that was magnified in the several years before his death. Three out the the four of us children are atheist and believe his legacy would be continued through his memory and whatever goodness he left behind. It was only because we were asked that we donated. In our grief we did not have the forethought to seek out the eye bank. The four of us, without hesitation, determined it was the right thing to do. Now, two people will see thanks to the selflessness of Parley's children and the vehicle of his eyes. We miss him every day but at least out of the senselessness of his death came some good that we can, in our own way, celebrate. </div>
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Utah residents can register here: <a href="https://www.yesutah.org/register/">https://www.yesutah.org/register/</a> I am a donor and my spouse is as well. We are encouraging everyone to do the same.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-73601315563428272182012-07-29T14:57:00.001-06:002012-07-29T14:57:35.348-06:00Chick-Fil-A: Hate & the Boldness Facebook gives us to say stupid shit!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3rc-07XbKfj8mRMF7m2rIuYc6zSHjktZdlyHn0W3j9gSAWKf7RAgBsXs-ehfHKC_1vZ6DVa_EZL1qwDU84K1wA3dpy4y2GI_YfocXTHR23d56o17u7yZaMVesPNnygfqa0XM0Y_kOo2kS/s1600/symbols_hrc_equality.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3rc-07XbKfj8mRMF7m2rIuYc6zSHjktZdlyHn0W3j9gSAWKf7RAgBsXs-ehfHKC_1vZ6DVa_EZL1qwDU84K1wA3dpy4y2GI_YfocXTHR23d56o17u7yZaMVesPNnygfqa0XM0Y_kOo2kS/s1600/symbols_hrc_equality.gif" /></a></div>
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I have not only watched but participated in the Chick-fil-A debate. When it comes to this company, I, in typical hipster fashion, have declined to give this restaurant my business for a couple of years now. First of all, I think their chicken batter is too sweet but more importantly they divert a large portion of their profits to hate organizations like National Organization for Marriage (NOM). The issue here is not Dan Cathy's professions of faith or his personal belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. It is the infusion of cash into the political lobbying machine that seeks to make his personal beliefs the laws of the land. </div>
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So Facebook becomes the battlefield for this debate. One Facebook Friend posted a photo of he and his wife holding up their Chick-fil-A bag. It was the photo which instigated this brief discussion:</div>
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">We are not just posting our support of Chick-fil-A . . . We are going to the store in support of their strong values.</span><a class="uiLinkSubtle" data-ft="{"tn":"N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4401430841862.183670.1471312999&type=1&comment_id=4778116&offset=0&total_comments=6" style="color: grey; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">16 hours ago</a> · <span class="comment_like_4778116 fsm fwn fcg" data-ft="{"type":36,"tn":">"}"><button class="stat_elem as_link cmnt_like_link" name="like_comment_id[4778116]" style="background-image: none; border: none; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; text-align: left; width: auto;" title="Like this comment" type="submit" value="4778116"><span class="default_message" style="display: inline;">Like</span></button></span></blockquote>
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<a ajaxify="/ajax/ufi/one_click_remove?comment_id=4778126&commenter_id=1471312999&profile_id=1471312999&post_fbid=4401473362925&can_remove=0&can_report=1&can_edit=0&is_spam=0&report_link=%2Fajax%2Freport.php%3Fcontent_type%3D74%26cid%3D4401473362925%26rid%3D1471312999%26cid2%3D0%26profile%3D1471312999%26h%3DAfjliSfgsM9S6LEY&feedback_params=%7B%22actor%22%3A%221471312999%22%2C%22target_fbid%22%3A%224401430841862%22%2C%22target_profile_id%22%3A%221471312999%22%2C%22type_id%22%3A%226%22%2C%22assoc_obj_id%22%3A%22%22%2C%22source_app_id%22%3A%220%22%2C%22extra_story_params%22%3A%7B%22force_validate%22%3A%221%22%7D%2C%22content_timestamp%22%3A%221343523610%22%2C%22check_hash%22%3A%22AQCp7syqmr8MKXku%22%2C%22source%22%3A%2213%22%7D" class="commentRemoverButton UIImageBlock_Ext uiCloseButton" data-hover="tooltip" href="https://www.facebook.com/Shi.sherrie.aderman/posts/442161225806562?ref=notif&notif_t=share_reply#" rel="async-post" role="button" style="background-image: url(https://s-static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v2/yA/r/4WSewcWboV8.png); background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; float: right; height: 15px; margin: 0px; opacity: 0; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; width: 15px; zoom: 1;" title="Hide as Spam"></a> <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Kevin, don't play coy with me . . . you know right values, even if you chose to hide from them.</span><a class="uiLinkSubtle" data-ft="{"tn":"N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4401430841862.183670.1471312999&type=1&comment_id=4778126&offset=0&total_comments=6" style="color: grey; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">16 hours ago</a> · <span class="comment_like_4778126 fsm fwn fcg" data-ft="{"type":36,"tn":">"}"><button class="stat_elem as_link cmnt_like_link" name="like_comment_id[4778126]" style="background-image: none; border: none; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; text-align: left; width: auto;" title="Like this comment" type="submit" value="4778126"><span class="default_message" style="display: inline;">Like</span></button></span></blockquote>
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What are the right values? The biblical definition of marriage? Or in Utah, the Mormon definition of marriage where polygamy is still doctrinal and practiced eternally? I loved this authors take on biblical marriage and the Chick-fil-A controversy:</div>
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My Daughter posted the following MEME to her Facebook page:<br />
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She got the following response: </div>
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">Nope. They are both equally depressing & disturbing. And I ate at chick fil a today. Mmm.. Homophobia never tasted sooo good. =)</span></div>
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<br /><br />What I find interesting is that they are willing to very proudly show their prejudice. What is the basis for the hate? Scripture? Both posters are Mormons. Both will cite scripture for their hate but neither, I'll bet, would be willing to openly deride a black person or a native American. There is scriptural and doctrinal basis for both. <br /><br />Finally there was a Christian from Texas who posted this:</div>
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<a class="actorName" data-ft="{"type":35,"tn":";"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1107368348" href="https://www.facebook.com/Shi.sherrie.aderman" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">C</a>hristian from Texas: <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">In AMERICA, people have the right to support whatever organization they want.</span><div class="commentActions fsm fwn fcg" style="color: grey; padding-top: 2px;">
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Opposing point of view: <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">So then Hate is inherently Christian, and we shouldn't be surprised when Christians show hate towards others? I'm pretty sure that's not what Jesus taught.</span><div class="commentActions fsm fwn fcg" style="color: grey; padding-top: 2px;">
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<a class="actorName" data-ft="{"type":35,"tn":";"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1346964256" href="https://www.facebook.com/kqdudley" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Kevin Dudley</a> <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Sure they do and others have the right to take offense and to openly protest their business activities. Which is why this meme is... well.... Stupid!</span><div class="commentActions fsm fwn fcg" style="color: grey; padding-top: 2px;">
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<a class="actorName" data-ft="{"type":35,"tn":";"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1107368348" href="https://www.facebook.com/Shi.sherrie.aderman" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">C</a>hristian from Texas: <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Not hate, just sticking to Biblical values. I see homosexual sex as no worse of a sin than any non marital sex, sin is sin, and nobody but God can judge us. But if he chooses to support organizations in support of traditional marital values, more power to him. I will go get my chick-fil-a now.</span></div>
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So in America we have the right to support who or whatever belief we choose? We do. She is right. However we have an obligation, as well, to keep their religious views that have no basis in reality out of our public policy. So Dan Cathy can support traditional marriage. However when he uses his money to support the limitation of others rights he changes the discussion. I will choose to divert my money to companies that support equality. I will commit to withhold my money, referrals, and my support from those businesses and business owners who support biblically inspired hate. I will further commit to actively speaking out against them and their beliefs until it is as embarrassing to be on open gay basher as it is to be an open racist. So enjoy your Chick-fil-A. I hope humble pie is served for desert. <br /><br /><br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-48350811937727142062012-06-17T20:10:00.001-06:002012-06-17T20:35:12.037-06:00My First Father's Day as an Orphan<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfGOujvOxvL5tsqgFjGoWzvb3clgzO5O3l8yizM5Wm_8zp9RYYhNwKmx99yl5-gCCw2fhSnWSTrVX1krYE-JSOb8mpS3wYqM35hykFZQnr1FdO4HggniLj35drlwyCUeJ7WPv-THu1zjq/s1600/Dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfGOujvOxvL5tsqgFjGoWzvb3clgzO5O3l8yizM5Wm_8zp9RYYhNwKmx99yl5-gCCw2fhSnWSTrVX1krYE-JSOb8mpS3wYqM35hykFZQnr1FdO4HggniLj35drlwyCUeJ7WPv-THu1zjq/s320/Dad.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Parley E. Dudley <br />
2/5/1942-4/16/2012</td></tr>
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It's Father's Day here in the US. I usually avoid writing obligatory "Mom, I Love You" or "Dad, I Love You" posts on holidays such as this. This holiday is a little different. I am acknowledging Father's Day on my blog not because I feel obligated to let my Dad know that I love him; but because I can't. You see he died two months ago. Unlike my mother's death, his was unexpected and I have not really been able to process it cognitively.<br />
<br />
This is an event that I would have announced on my blog but I didn't know how to couch the conversation. My father and I did not see eye to eye about politics and to some degree about religion. He was a by your bootstraps libertarian minded republican and I am obviously a liberal socialist leaning democrat. The result had been heated exchanges over the last 5 years. It was only in the last couple of months that we were able to define boundaries that would allow us to converse about the things in life that mattered outside of politics and religion. He was showing new interest in my children and acknowledging that he had been aloof and really knew little about them. It was a small crack in the door but one I was eager to exploit. I knew after my mother's death, that even with some warning, you are never ready for death. There was so much left to say and so many other ways to serve that you will never another get a chance to offer. <br />
<br />
My dad had back surgery in March, against the advice of his cardiologist and despite our pleadings. The surgery didn't take and had to be redone. He went back into the hospital for round two on April 12th. The surgeon found that he had spongy bones and the surgery took longer than it normally would have. He came through the surgery and it looked like he was going to be fine once he recovered. Plans were made for a short stay in a rehab center. I took the opportunity to see him once or twice a day at the hospital. I was in the middle of opening a show at the U of U and so I would arrive before I went to school and then stop in again on my way home. I would just sit there while he slept. He knew I was busy and tired and he would tell me. "You don't have to stay, I'll be alright." <br />
<br />
On Monday morning, April 16th, after returning to his room from physical therapy, he had a heart attack and he died later that afternoon. As the oldest son, who lives the closest, and at the request of my siblings, I immediately went to the business of managing his affairs. He left nothing in place and so it has been a challenge. <br />
<br />
For me this has all been surreal. I miss him as much as I miss my mother but have not hardly cried at all over his demise. There are many things that I am now that are a result of the man he was. He was inventive and could solve any mechanical problem. I use similar skills when I design and build theatrical sets. Even though our ideology was opposite our conviction to what we believe to be true was equally passionate. My dad was willing to fight when he thought the world was unjust and he was on the short end of the stick. As estranged as our relationship was, I knew he loved me and was proud of the success I found. There were many things I look up to him for but I enjoyed him more when I recognized him as my equal. There is a leveling when you are responsible for your own success and you can no longer blame you failures on your parents. That is the corner I believed we were turning, and in its usual fashion, life cut the journey short. I do wish we could go back and say the things I now wish we had. At the end of the day, it is people that matter. In our pursuit of success and ideology we sometimes forget that. I know I did and I regret it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-72802755699310913382012-05-09T09:57:00.000-06:002012-05-09T10:06:42.699-06:00Belief in God Renders you Deaf.... and Kills your compassion!<div style="text-align: center;">
Is this photo dangerous? Is it obscene?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHORmpD6ri0OEHb0T5PBc7nsGDe9hB_HHsOB_jzOZ6cDcfEJIKhAmGKttV-jzXO1-cKa0SU1oOWLqvQXRjE3qi8mqgXWc9Fkwg_56rcQW7Wjfe9AjOaAQ4YR_GMtQlP0CSV5r0MnyBOmGJ/s1600/536075_3920652937124_1303581385_3560116_48185716_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHORmpD6ri0OEHb0T5PBc7nsGDe9hB_HHsOB_jzOZ6cDcfEJIKhAmGKttV-jzXO1-cKa0SU1oOWLqvQXRjE3qi8mqgXWc9Fkwg_56rcQW7Wjfe9AjOaAQ4YR_GMtQlP0CSV5r0MnyBOmGJ/s320/536075_3920652937124_1303581385_3560116_48185716_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>It is if you are a member of the religious right. It is if you subscribe to the <a href="http://www.afa.net/">American Family Association's</a> <a href="http://www.onemillionmoms.com/issues.asp">One Million Moms</a>. I entered into a protracted Facebook debate because the One Million Moms group decided to target Jc Penney for showing loving a loving lesbian couple and their family in an ad campaign. Sadly, the sword was taken up by a bunch of Mormon moms in my area and spread to Facebook. What I found quickly in the debate on Facebook was that those moms were completely without compassion. They could not see that this campaign is hurtful to people. You know people, with skin, hair, eyes, and feelings. They could not see the parallels to the way the blacks were treated in their own church, during the civil rights movement and throughout our not to distant past in the his country. Hell, they cannot even see the parallels to their own purported persecution in the mid 19th century. Instead we see nuggets like this being repeated:</div>
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I don't hate anyone who is gay or lesbian. Marriage was ordained by God to be between a man and a woman. Period. It's kind of ironic that people for years did not feel the need to get married because it was just a piece of paper. As soon as the gay and lesbian community realized it was something they could not choose, it became something they wanted. Marriage is designed by God to create children. Lets make laws to have benefits for partners, but stop trying to destroy marriage. That is a hate agenda in my book. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;">.... </span>Thanks for posting this. I will never shop at JC Penney again.</blockquote>
So she does not hate gay and lesbian folks but the push for marriage equality is hate. She also repeats the talking points of the right that have been show to be full of fallacious arguments. <br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I've recently unfriended a bunch of people on my facebook page for their constant posting of hateful anti right rantings. I didn't call them and get mad at them, I just removed them so I don't have to be insulted everyday. I'm just tired of the other side (a minorityin this society by the way) dictating what I have to believe all the time.</blockquote>
Yet he is willing to dictate what the left does...hypocrisy here?<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I have several relatives that have chosen a homosexual lifestyle. I love them very deeply and am grateful they are a part of my family. And I believe in God's plan--that families can be together forever, when sealed by the holy spirit of promise. Heavenly Father requires us to live His law if we desire to return to Him and be together as eternal families.</blockquote>
And how does the accepting attitude of Jc Penney threaten her beliefs? It doesn't!<br />
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The next two are the problem and lead to my point:</div>
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Sorry Kevin, but you are wrong. It is most definitely NOT something you are born with, nor is God's law an "arbitrary moral construct that has its basis in the Old Testament." It is a law that transends time and space, an eternal truth that one day ALL will know and have to answer for; and yes, we can KNOW that our religious views are correct and that they will serve us quite well in the next life. God's laws are eternal, they have always been there and they will always be there. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"> </span>is right to oppose this ad. I feel sorry for the little girl and the other girl not shown in the picture. They will grow up being taught something that isn't true.</blockquote>
As if the claims of Mormonism have any evidence of being true?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqE3VOYBLwKlL9tJ7lp8GkITWIT4OzOwn8DZZjPEJR0dWoBGqz3fko9wguXUbkKGyA4b7XoWe51OTcvQzIxDf6rJFLEbpC-fQx-ALl1xkmerYr3jlF3lpy2ZE8AH8tSpAz9SsRg_1SB2Xf/s1600/ears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqE3VOYBLwKlL9tJ7lp8GkITWIT4OzOwn8DZZjPEJR0dWoBGqz3fko9wguXUbkKGyA4b7XoWe51OTcvQzIxDf6rJFLEbpC-fQx-ALl1xkmerYr3jlF3lpy2ZE8AH8tSpAz9SsRg_1SB2Xf/s320/ears.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
There is no "oppression" in stating a fact! Men and women create children together in the beautiful bonds of marriage because God created us and gave us a sacred power to create life. There is nothing wrong, mean, or hateful about stating the obvious that so many people are trying to ignore and normalize. Homosexuality is not the way God intended us to live, it doesn't make sense and will not make us happy eternally, which is His plan. Men are that they might have joy. Marriage between a man and woman is so central to Gods plan and very sacred to me. So I will support Michelle and Sara in never shopping at JC Penney again. So sad they choose to lower standards to make people think this is alright.</blockquote>
I had a person contact me during the debate and thank me for my persistence in making the point that bigotry is bigotry whether you are religious or not and this issue is about compassion. This person said, however, that once they play the god card they stop listening to reason. He is right. <br />
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The problem with this type of bigotry is that is gets passed on to the young. This high schooler repeats the party line without stopping to analyze how foolish the statements are. The idea that god makes you gay to test you is not only absurd but it removes compassion from the believer.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYSPx6MZ9IO8vzbUTE_YgwolzEP_VElO7bHatKXogtmiz9g4LjCcVc7xQfNf11I6J8dXXCTGHfpWC6L0iEFhtXet2i0gtlNMATdfR9WeloA61JhPxxdxhJmU3h0od3mPmi7xyxyMf1w1Y/s1600/kid+plugging+ears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYSPx6MZ9IO8vzbUTE_YgwolzEP_VElO7bHatKXogtmiz9g4LjCcVc7xQfNf11I6J8dXXCTGHfpWC6L0iEFhtXet2i0gtlNMATdfR9WeloA61JhPxxdxhJmU3h0od3mPmi7xyxyMf1w1Y/s1600/kid+plugging+ears.jpg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"> </span> is right, It was ordained by God, marriage is only to be between a man and woman, it doesnt matter what society thinks about it if its true. Im not about to believe in it just to go with the flow. I know its wrong, and yes i know you are born with it, but you are born with it because Our Heavenly Father knows you're strong. Its just like any other thing everyone else has to overcome, just like being addicted to chocolate! Just a bit harder to live with. You're not going to hell because your gay, and its not against the rules to be attracted to the same sex, but you are not to act on it. Just something you have to overcome and be strong with. So quit giving <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"> </span>a hard time about it, she is right, get used to it (Kevin).I have nothing wrong with homosexuality but when they start ads about it. it certainly does bother me. PS dont attack the church if you have not read the scriptures and UNDERSTAND them, it just makes you sound like a fool. PSS sorry if i hurt anyones feelings but some comments got me fired up.</blockquote>
I pointed out, during the debate, the LDS church has been on the wrong side of history on many issues, the blacks (inter-racial marriage and the priesthood), polygamy, and they would be found to be on the wrong side of history on homosexuality. However, my comments were of no consequence. I was outed by one clever Facebooker who looked up my profile:<br />
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There is not going to be any common ground found with Kevin Dudley. Just checked out his profile, and he is extremely anti Mormon. Homosexuality is clearly one of MANY issues he has with the LDS church. Mormons will lose every time with people like Kevin. Just my two cents, for what it's worth.</blockquote>
My calls for compassion were completely ignored. It is easier to see homosexuals as sinners who have been lead away by Satan or as sinners who failed to pass the test that god gave them. What is clear is they are not to have an equal standing in gods society. I enjoyed this post and photo my friend <a href="http://mrhackman.blogspot.com/2012/05/dont-learn-repeat.html">Andrew Hackman</a> put up after the North Carolina vote to ban gay marriage:<br />
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Do you think any of these scowling, angry women thought of themselves as bigots? I would guess not. They probably thought of themselves as moral, upstanding, God-loving folk; who were only looking to protect their children and their families. However, history rightly remembers them as bigots. </blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbJOfonWYP48AYJFoFESeb9CIdLpBnWnekIM8PXzgMwn_fp4b5ECVz_CNRllGmbGNzlrVu2Zp-YdCtMX6bwVM-Bx1I1RhTIlsvm2WZJmAfuQ9_oD-ldYlNKZ86p7MkLglbHLT4riPNThX/s1600/little+rock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbJOfonWYP48AYJFoFESeb9CIdLpBnWnekIM8PXzgMwn_fp4b5ECVz_CNRllGmbGNzlrVu2Zp-YdCtMX6bwVM-Bx1I1RhTIlsvm2WZJmAfuQ9_oD-ldYlNKZ86p7MkLglbHLT4riPNThX/s320/little+rock.jpg" width="320" /></a>In the same way, I am sure the folks who voted for Amendment One in North Carolina would never self-identify as bigots. They probably think of themselves as moral, upstanding, God-loving folk; who are only looking to protect their children and their families.</blockquote>
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But history will also, rightly, remember them as bigots.</blockquote>
These are powerful words and words I agree with completely. To all of you who have tried to marginalize homosexuals and to keep them in the closet and out of the the public eye; To those of you who use your piety to your god to temper your compassion; to those of you who think your eternal salvation rests on controlling others... you are bigots and I am ashamed to admit this is still a problem in 2012. Please support me in letting JC Penney know you find the ad campaign progressive and appropriate by signing <a href="http://www.change.org/petitions/jc-penney-do-not-remove-the-lesbian-couple-from-the-may-catalog-or-any-other-ads#">Change. org's petition.</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-28085303364953415162012-02-12T12:25:00.001-07:002012-02-12T12:26:29.723-07:00It's my 100th post and it's about Sex!.... No this is not a Penthouse Forum post. Your not going to find out anything about my secret sexual desires or what I like to do in the privacy of my own room. It is about my disgust with the current attacks on the availability of healthy sexual information to our children. The Utah Legislature is in session. 45 days of the year the Utah Legislature does everything they can to act in their own interest and against the interest of the Utah population.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gayle Ruzicka - The very face of Evil</td></tr>
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Representative Bill Wright (R) introduced HB 363 on the docket with the intent of banning all discussion of contraception, homosexuality and sexual practices from the public school health and sex eduction programs. This should be seen as an assault on our children because it is exactly that! Even the BYU Health Services Department has come out against this bill. </div>
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Cougar Hall, assistant professor and school health adviser at Brigham Young University told the committee that Utah current law is very conservative. He said he supports abstinence education 100 percent, but there needs to be some information out there for students at risk.</blockquote>
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"It is immoral to withhold life-saving information from segments of our population because it doesn't fit our value system," Hall said.~ <a href="http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705399101/Sex-ed-bill-amended-impact-unclear-among-Utah-lawmakers.html?pg=2">Deseret News</a></blockquote>
Bill Wright used his granddaughter as a prop to defend his bill saying:<br />
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"She represents the innocence of those we are really talking about," Wright said. "This is not an important part of our curriculum. … It is just basically something out there that takes away from the character in our schools and takes away from the character of our students."</blockquote>
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"I think we are intellectually dishonest when we teach pregnancy prevention in our classes and do not teach the only sure pregnancy prevention," Wright said.</blockquote>
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My daughter Jessica (Liberal Blogger Kate) pointed out the misogyny in this tactic saying that only a girl could represent the innocence lost by sex. He did not bring in a grandson because using a young boy as a prop would not have the same effect. <br />
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Mr. Wright is a Dairy Farmer by trade. I don't say this to mock is chosen profession but to mock his credentials as a health educator or someone who would set health education policy. To this end, Mr. Wright is advocating withholding information from children and to rely on the failures of the past. Parents do not really educate their children about sex. Most of them are as qualified as Mr. Wright, or the woman with her hand up his back, Gayle Ruzicka; to provide real world sexual information to children. Just because you have had sex, does not make you an expert. Our children should be educated about their bodies and how they function mechanically and psychologically. Our goal for our children should be not just having safer sex but developing a healthy attitude toward sex. They will eventually have sex and we need to raise them in an environment where they can have good sex. <br />
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If you take Mr. Wright's comments and view them in the daylight your will realize how absurd they are. We teach math in progressive steps. Counting, Basic Addition, Subtraction and so on. We do not expect them to open up a Trigonometry book and start solving the problems. The same goes for their bodies. Bad sexual information leads to bad decisions and bad sex. I wish I had the information I know now when I was a teen and even in my 20's. I feel like I was robbed to some degree of many additional years of good sex. As much as I now know, I still find that I have some general misconceptions about sex. If I am left to educate my children on my own those misconceptions could be passed on as bad information. <br />
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We have progressed, as humans, beyond the bronze age but for some reason we continue to cling to attitudes and practices from that era. I don't know what Mr. Wright and the Puppet Master Ruzicka have to gain by denying quality information to children. Why is denying the truth a virtue? In response, I am linking two websites that are a great jumping off point for sexual information. The first is <a href="http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/">Go Ask Alice </a>from Columbia University and the second is <a href="http://kinseyconfidential.org/">Kinsey Confidential</a> from Indiana University. I think it is time somebody tells Gayle Ruzicka to shut up and sit down. Let's provide our children with good information with an acknowledgement that the older they get the less they need us and the more independent their decisions become.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-60069703390918855882011-12-27T21:39:00.003-07:002011-12-27T21:40:38.480-07:00Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been away for awhile. My friend Jeff pointed out that I have not posted since early November. My brother Shaun told me he is waiting for my next post. Well, I finished working on Pioneer Theatre's the Tempest; caught my homework up; worked Pioneer Theatre's Annie; finished two monster projects; got through finals week; and started designs for <i>Le Belles-Soeurs. </i>I finished a 17 hour semester with a 3.94.<br />
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I am working on a post that discusses religion and how it is detrimental to education. I have some nuggets from the LDS General Authorities about how public education is dangerous to belief. I have not completely realized the concept in my head and so it will be a day or so before I post. If you have any quotes, from any religious source, that disparage secular education feel free to point me in that direction.<br />
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In have been active on Facebook however. I engaged in debates as to the origin of masturbatory prohibitions in LDS Doctrine (there aren't any). I debated whether the LDS instruction manual discourages vasectomy or does it really prohibit it? More important does put the weight of the decision on untrained clergy[(Bishops) it does]. I was defended for calling a woman out on the war on Christmas crap that comes from Fox News. I added 7 Facebook Friends and lost 5... so I am up 2. I guess you can find the drama I engaged in on my Facebook page.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191411025124123448.post-77144720072519056842011-11-06T09:22:00.000-07:002011-11-06T09:22:14.524-07:00A Plea to My LDS and Religious Friends... Put Your Children Before Your Faith!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am going to broach a sensitive topic here.<br />
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I read a thread on <a href="http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/43181-working-bishop-advice-needed.html">LDS.net</a> that has really troubled me. I am going to paste the young woman's original post here. This young lady's plea breaks my heart. Her suffering is obvious and needless. I am so disturbed by this girl suffering it has me on the edge of tears. The tragedy here is her religion will likely destroy her when in reality she has done nothing that is abnormal and to call it sinful shows the depraved nature of piety.<br />
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I have a rather sensitive topic that I would like advice on. I have been looking on this site, and other people have posted similar topics. If this is not appropriate then I will remove.<br />
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I am a girl, and I have a problem with Masturbation. I have been working with my Bishop, for almost 7 months and have not made a lot of progress. He is starting to get frustrated with me.<br />
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I've had an issue for around 4 years. I have read a lot of materials that are pornographic in nature(have not looked at visual much) and that is the reason, as well as a coping method.<br />
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This is the only sin in this manner that I have committed, I have not done anything with anyone. I am not very good at self-control and that is part of it as well.<br />
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<b>I'm home schooled and do not have siblings living at home. I live in a fairly isolated area, and besides Seminary, I don't really have a lot of interaction with people besides my parents.</b><br />
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<b>My parents have major issues in their marriage, there is not a lot of respect on either party's part, and they fight a lot of the time, really ripping into each other.</b> <b>It's not a very healthy environment for me and I get pushed and need to escape.</b><br />
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<b>My bishop is fairly new, only being in the office for 9 months or so.</b> He is also my families home teacher. I reported to him on a daily basis for 5 months, and have now gone to a weekly basis, with an extra report if I mess up. I meet with him around every 2-3 weeks for 15 minutes generally.<br />
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Before I started working with him, I had a problem about every day, every other day. The longest I went in the 3 1/2 years was a week without doing it. I read a lot of bad books during that time period.<br />
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Now, I can go 1-3 weeks. The longest I was able to go was 4 1/2 weeks, at which point I had an issue. I was making some progress until about the end of August, and then I started messing up more, but not back to where I was. I started listening to music that was a bit suggestive as well as reading things that were as well. I started backsliding big time.<br />
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I've now cut out the suggestive material 99%. I've been pretty clean on it for 2 weeks, but there were issues during that time anyway. <b>When I am sick, or having my period, I would use this to distract, or in the case of cramps, it did actually help. </b>I have times of the month when I'm a lot more likely to do it, so it depends.<br />
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When I started working with him, I made a lot more of an effort and then, well, I'm not. I'm not sure quite how to get back to the point of actually wanting to stop. My problem is that I also need some other type of outlet I can do to distract myself as a replacement.<br />
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<b>I suffer from depression, worse some times and not quite as bad others. I've been suicidal and I still consider it sometimes.</b><br />
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At this point I am not taking the sacrament. <b>My dad is like "Ok, it's time, you need to be done" </b>but what I don't think he realizes is that for me it is an addiction and it's very hard to stop or want to stop. My goal is to go to college next year, so I am limited time wise.<br />
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With my bishop as far as he is concerned. He is a really decent man, and I have a lot of respect for him. Overall he has been very patient and understanding but it's been 7 months and no difference, or not much. He wants me to see a counselor and has brought it up in email 4 times as well as 1 time in a meeting.<br />
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I've told him no and he finally stopped talking about it after I asked him to. Is it needed for me to meet with him more often? This sunday will be the 3rd week and as far as I know I'm not meeting with him. He was out of town, so that's part of it.<br />
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How much should I expect from him, and what can I do so I can make progress? I<b> have been reading a lot of church books, fasting once a week, and also sitting in the Temple Foyer for several hours while my Dad does work. I am making an effort but it's just not good enough it seems.</b></blockquote>
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The problem here is she needs professional help. She needs it from an unbiased counselor who will treat her as an individual not a member of the faith. To be fair help has been suggested by her bishop; but, she needs counseling for depression not masturbation. The girl is in an impossible situation. She has no voice of reason in her circle of influence. Her parents' marriage is not healthy. The child his home schooled and segregated from her peers. She is caught in vicious and needless cycle guilt, repentance, denial and self loathing. This cycle could be broken by on adult in her sphere telling her, 'What you are doing is normal and is nobody's business but yours.' <br />
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I know your faith is important to you; but, there is a problem when the faith is deemed more important than the child. My plea is:<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> if you are doing this to your child... please stop. </span></i></b> There is plenty of evidence indicating masturbation is a normal part of development. It is healthy and serves a purpose. This uninspired policy stance will destroy this young lady. It has already destroyed many children before her. To ask children to deny their humanity in this manner is equal to making using the toilet a sin. It is a normal body function that hurts no one<br />
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In this case religious leaders who interject them selves into the personal intimate lives of the youth are wrong. There are countless examples of the leaders of faith being wrong. Change in your church comes from you. That is why the LDS Church changed the policy on blacks holding the priesthood. It was politically motivated and was causing a rift in the membership. Demand they revise their stance on this matter. Demand they stay our of the sexual development of your children. Ignore advice that comes from leaders who have a degree in law or business and not child development. Most importantly let your children know that you love them and there is nothing wrong with developing normal sexual awareness. Nurture your child not the misguided policies on sexuality. <b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Put your child before your faith.</span></i></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08142060911229450235noreply@blogger.com15