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| At first impression you might believe the bottom line is longer. The evidence shows they are the same length. |
Definition:
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
I was woken to day by my wife who was on the phone to my son. My son was telling Lisa that he had lost his Trax pass on the way to the train. She said they got out late to take him to Trax because she had forgot it was our day to drive him and his class mate to the train station. I was a little ornery because I usually am at 6:30 in the morning. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Did he put the lanyard around his neck?
Lisa: Yes he was wearing it. I saw it trailing him as he ran to catch the train.
Me: Did he take it off.
Lisa: He said no. I have told him to look under his seat and to make sure he is not sitting on it.
Me: Where does he think he lost it.
Lisa: When he was running to catch the train.
Me: Then it wasn't around his neck.
Lisa: Yes it was. I saw it trailing him when he ran to the train.
We took a ride to the Trax Platform and looked for his lanyard. It was nowhere to be found.
Me: There is no way he had it around his neck and it is not there.
Lisa: (in a tone that said, "You are an ass. I know what I saw. I was there. You weren't. Keep this up we will only have hall sex for the next month.) I know what I saw Kevin. It was around his neck.
Me: (Because I know I am an ass) It is physically impossible for a lanyard that is around someone's neck to just fall off. There is a physical object there that prevents that from happening. It's called a neck. So either he didn't put it around his neck or he didn't have it to begin with.
Lisa : (Glare.) (Didn't you get the gist from my tone in the previous comment. Why do you have to push me). !
Me: This is bullshit. That kid is going to cost me another $60 bucks for a replacement pass. I have to make a trip into Salt Lake to rescue his sorry ass. (Did I mention I am not the most agreeable at 6:30.
Because the assertion he was wearing his pass seemed physically improbable. I continued to look around the kitchen, where he usually gets ready for school, and where he dumps his stuff when he comes home from school. Under his coat and his kilt(which should have been in his bedroom) sitting on the bench in the front entry was.... his Trax pass.
Me: I found it. I will take it to him this morning.
Lisa: I could have sworn I saw him wearing it. It must have been the ties on his jacket.
Based upon the goodbye kiss this morning hall sex is probably not on my agenda, that is unless I assert that she is wrong again. I am treading on thin ice.
As I have given some consideration to this minor crisis it was clear to me. Lisa asserted what she believed to be true. She thought she had seen the lanyard around his neck. However the evidence for her belief was an impression. She interpreted what she saw as the lanyard.
I, on the other hand, initially accepted her assertion but then some other things failed to add up. Where was the lanyard. Did it make it around his neck. What has been my history with him. How organized is he. There is no lanyard at the station. The evidence was not supporting the recalled event. A little more probing actually proved the assumption was false.
I related this to the discussion in the LDS General Conference this last weekend on how you get confirmation the church is true. A Facebook acquaintance posted this quote:
The more we act upon impressions, the more the Lord will entrust to us...There was this further warning to the faithful and the call to repentance for those who seek truth outside of official sources:
Never postpone a prompting.
Thomas S. Monson
Some have immersed themselves in internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and in some cases invent shortcomings of early church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.
Elder Quentin L. Cook, General Conference, October 2012
Using impressions is a poor way to evaluate the truth. Search for evidence should be encouraged an celebrated not decried. The problem is: The LDS church knows there is evidence out there that makes the probability of its truth claims slim to none. It has ignored or denied its past despite the evidence that suggests that past is checkered. They continue to tell members there is nothing to see in a manner that is equal to ignoring the man behind the curtain. This is why I continue to have hall sex with the church.
