Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sexuality... Who Owns It?




I cannot figure out what we have, as a human culture against, sex education.  This video and the others like it that demonstrate mutilation of women to curb either their interest in sex of their attractiveness to the opposite sex represent the collective evil that we can do as a species to each other.

I know your thinking "now Curmudgeon, that does not happen in civilized societies like America."  Yes it does.  The same barbarous practices happen in secret here cloaked in religious ceremonies and under the guise of religious freedom.  Additionally, we tolerate in the open ritualistic psychological abuse in the form religious dogma.

Our children are taught from the earliest ages to deny their sexuality.  I was always taught that god made us sexual beings as a test to our faith and resolve to keeps his commandments.  I was taught to push back every sexual thought and feeling as inappropriate and wicked.  Of course abstinence was the key to a happy marriage and an eternal life.

The fact is that we have sexual feelings because humans are sexual beings.  It is not wrong to act on those feelings as long as you understand the risks, you aren't hurting someone else, and the parties are consenting.  

For some reason as a species we feel we have a need to own everyone's sexuality.  In the name of superstition we have taught our daughters that their self-worth is wrapped up in the physical condition of their bodies(virginity) not their contribution society.  We teach our boys and men to deny sexuality and to avoid engaging in even the most rudimentary and normal practices including masturbation.  In India girls are raised to  expect careers in brothels.  In the Middle East they are forced to cover almost every inch of skin and in Africa are subject to mutilation.  Boys in the Judeo-Christian areas of the world are subject to a now medically indefensible practice of circumcision.

In western cultures we put our men and women through reparative therapy to cure their homosexual tendencies in what usually amounts to a suppression of their selves and in many cases has resulted in depression and suicide. We operate on the assumption that based on our selective reading of the bible that homosexuality is a choice and a sin. We ignore scientific studies that indicate it is instead a naturally occurring variation in our genes.

I have struggled to come to grips with why we feel we need to be involved in everyone else's sexuality and it comes down to one thing.... control.  We changed from a hunter gatherer society to an agricultural society about 10,000 years ago and property became definable including sexual property.  It is also around that time we started forming religious dogma.  This changed the way our society functioned and the practices discussed above became ritual with that dogma.  As we awake from that haze as a culture and information flows so freely we need to realize we do not own anyone's sexuality.... but our own.  It is in that realization that we will find healthy relationships and in that realization that we can guide our children to make choices that work for them in the most healthy manner.



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