The covered Cosmopolitan (left) is a common sight here in conservative Utah. This was was photographed with my iPhone at our South Jordan Harmon's grocery store. I really enjoy our Harmon's grocery (as much as you can a grocery store) They have friendly employees and the store is clean.... for the most part. They have a good selection of produce and meat in general. I struggle to understand why a market that is open 7 days a week and only closes on Christmas is willing to pander to religious fundamentalism and to cave to the "morally" outraged prudes who push this type censorship and control. The reality is that the magazine covers on Cosmopolitan and Fitness magazines as well as the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition do not show anything that you will not see if you go the pool, dancing at a night club or on the patrons shopping inside your Harmon's. Yet we have the 'Coalition for Decency' determining at what lengths we have to go to see the bylines of those covers because they might be surrounding some cleavage.
So we cover this magazine because we are afraid someones's husband may think that Lea Michelle is the standard by which we judge what is sexy or because her cleavage might be titillating to little Johnny increasing the likelihood that he may explore his sexuality while he is alone.
Of Course there is the argument what is being shown is not real and it gives our daughters and women in the community a standard that is unattainable. While I agree that may be the case are we doing anyone a service? However we don't think much about breast augmentation which is as common in Utah as it is anywhere else in the country. When you cover it up you also close off the opportunity for any type of healthy discussion. Discussions like 'your realize that the cover has in all likelihood been airbrushed and she doesn't look like that in real life?' 'Do your think that is a shirt or dress you could wear and feel comfortable in?' 'Do you think the views about sexuality that are discussed on the cover of that magazine are healthy representations of what sex is about?'
I am the father of 5 kids: three boys; 23, 19 ,13 and two girls 20, and 11. The conversations that went on in my home over the weekend included questions about anatomy: 'What is a clitoris.... what is a douche for?'; A statement: 'Just because a girl likes anal sex doesn't mean she isn't a nice girl'; and concerns about pornography use by underage children. As adults my wife and I could have brushed the topics under the rug or overreacted making discussion impossible or we could do what we did and address topics head on in a non-threatening educational way that quenches the curiosity and leaves the child feeling empowered to control their own sexual identity and destiny. The STD rates are increasing in Utah. Teenage pregnancy is on the rise again. Sexual dysfunction inside of marriage is high. It certainly is not because information and attitudes about sex are free flowing. It is because we have restricted the information and attempt to create a taboo around sex and sexuality.
And we all love a good taboo! Seriously, this sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach to the issue of sex is a recipe for disaster, as you have pointed out.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing that you are able to have those kinds of discussions with your children. My son is only 2 years and I want to be able to do that with him as he grows up here in Utah. Such an important topic.
ReplyDeleteI always move those black plastic things to cover different magazines, just out of spite. I know all it does is make a poor stocker have to move them back, but for a while there's uncovered magazine side boob.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Great post.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you wholeheartedly. However, now that you have uncovered Lea Michelle's chest, I'm probably going to make some bad decisions I wouldn't have otherwise made. Joking.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post. I admire how open you're able to be with your children!
I agree with, Matt. I always move them to cover, People, or US of some other magazine people read who wouldn't be caught dead with, The National Enquierer, but that's what they WANT to be reading. If you spent all your time trying to cover up all the pretty girls in this culture, you'd be covering up THIS culture. It's what sells. Titties don't CAUSE sex, being HUMAN causes sex.
ReplyDeleteI worked at a Blockbuster in the heart of Provo, UT. Unlike the grocery stores, we NEVER covered up the magazines. And I think people knew not to say anything to us because we would just blow them off. (We were able to do the same to people who would request we remove some films from our store.) Anyways, what WOULD happen is someone would take the liberty of turning the magazines around. It was such a pain. While I was at that store, I was CONSTANTLY turning the magazines on the rack the right way. It got really annoying.
ReplyDeleteI don't think airbrushed, impossible female ideals should be at the newsstands-- period. Eleven year old girls don't have the tools to analyze that media content- instead, they have the potential to internalize the female hatred depicted on the cover and begin a spiral of body shame and eating disorders.
ReplyDeleteLet's stop buying these magazines and instead build up the women and girls in our society with positive, attainable images. Let's have frank discussions of what sexuality is, instead of supporting false images of what it is not.
Thank you for your thoughts.