staylds.com helpful? dangerous?

A recent Salt Lake Tribune article discussed a website that was designed to help those who are having questions about their faith in the LDS (Mormon) Church reconcile the church’s short comings and misrepresentation and to encourage them to stay anyway (www.staylds.com). I have reviewed some of the content on this website and think it is a sad statement about our addiction to religion whether the facts support the claims or not.



On the above website I found a link to this video clip which discusses the discrepancies between what is taught as church doctrine and history and what the fact of the record reveals. It is designed to help faithful members understand why folks leave and then to encourage them to help their friends and neighbors to stay and accept the fact that although there are huge problems with the official doctrinal history they can choose to accept the portions of it that resonate with them personally and ignore the portions that do not. If that does not work it encourages them to stay active for the association with good people and opportunity of service. I watched the entire 57 minutes of the video and found nothing new but I did find it disturbing that, at the end of the day, the reason for membership is now “association” and not the truth. The one point that I found fascinating was the idea that if you leave because this church has problems; you have to consider what church does not and then you should choose the lesser of the two evils.

As someone who struggled through a crisis of faith and moved on, I find the strategy of staying for association unhealthy and potentially emotionally dangerous. First, there is the constant exposure to the idea that you will not reach your spiritual potential. There is nothing in the official doctrine that supports an a la carte approach the religion. Either the prophet, and all of his predecessors, were infallible and the mouth piece of God or they were not. If the latter is true then the church is not. If the prior is true, then you must follow the doctrine as it has been outlined historically or risk judgment in the last days.

In the video and the website there is an acknowledgement, that once someone decides to leave the Mormon Church, they face ostracism from family, friends and neighbors who already know and love them for the content of their character but are threatened by their crisis of faith. I had a recent discussion with a devout member of the LDS Church who acknowledged they shun information and people who are potentially threatening to their testimony. As an open atheist and a former Mormon in a tight-knit Mormon community I found this ostracism to be a factor. We have had our children come home crying because they were not allowed to play with children in the neighborhood. There is also the pervasive cliquish mentality that tends to make non-believers feel inadequate. So what is the push to keep these folks in the religion if there are doctrinal doubts for both the producers of the video and the administrators of the website? What is the motivation to encourage the doubters to avoid websites like www.postmormon.org or www.exmormon.org? Both the video and the website claim to not endorse the apologist sites like FARMS and FAIR but both make reference to these organizations and the Staylds.com links to the sites. There is no link to www.postmormon.org or www.exmormon.org. Why would you ask someone to stay with an abuser or encourage them to drink poison after adding sugar to make it sweeter. Both postmormon.org and exmormon.org have empathy and understanding for the stress that comes with first finding that your faith is not true and then realizing you may loose your family and neighbors over it.

For me this brings the larger question regarding religion. If you doubt the divinity and infallibility of the prophets then why is it so hard to acknowledge that religion is man made? What is the drunkenness that drives us to attend church, any church, and then obscures our ability to ask questions and demand answers that actually answer the questions? The most frustrating pro-argument for me is the response “this is what I believe”. What is your basis for belief? A feeling is not proof. I have found that most Mormons, Christians, and other religious folks do not understand the context in which their religions were formed. Religion was not given to us by God it was created by man. We find ourselves at odds with an established religion and we create another to suit us. And thus, we are creating another religion when we become a la carte Mormons.

Guns Don't Kill People....Gun Nuts Wielding Guns Kill People!

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Gun owners in Utah have noticed a recent shortage for certain types of ammunition, specifically for handguns and semiautomatic weapons. However, it isn't clear why gun owners feel such an urgency to stock up.

I was in a gun shop recently in Taylorsville, Utah. There was a poster prominently displayed encouraging every gun advocate to register to vote because Obama would take away our rights to own guns. This poster was still lingering with it's message of fear five months after the election.

Where was the same right wing constitutional rhetoric when the previous president took away so many of our constitutional rights such as the right to be free of unwarranted search and seizure?

This issue came home when my 67 year old father came to my house looking to take possession of the Colt .45 I had sold him six years earlier. With some urgency he asked me to find the gun, the magazines, and any ammunition I had for the weapon. I exercised my 24 hour waiting period obligation (I lost the key to the lock on the gun and wasn't sure where I put it). My dad started going on and on about how he needed self protection and how he intended to get a concealed carry permit.

In a latter phone conversation he told me the Pentagon had decided to insist that all the .223 ammunition be recycled and not reloaded. My dad was convinced this was a government conspiracy to reduce the supply of ammunition to the masses. I pointed out three points:

1. The Pentagon was run by a Republican.
2. The order to recycle the brass rather than reload could be a measure meant to protect the military from lawsuits over defective brass. If the brass is recycled it would like be made into additional rounds and there was no indication that the .223 round was in danger of being restricted by the government.
3. If the free market was still alive and well the ammunition manufactures would ramp up production to meet demand.

The next conversation we had regarding guns was the proper storage of a firearm in the car. I am a police officer and so I was a natural resource for this conversation. I also support the second amendment in that I believe that if we surrender any of our rights voluntarily we will likely never get them back. That being said, I also believe that a gun is not a panacea for all of our problems and many times it complicates the situation. I suggested he leave the gun at home unless he is going to the range or hunting or camping.

If the Zeppelin were made of lead it would have had more buoyancy than that statement in my father's eyes. He told me that he was going to get a concealed carry permit and he "needed" a gun for his protection. I told him this was not the wild west. He retorted that it was more like the wild west than it was in the 1950's. If I were to watch TV I would see many reports of people being car jacked or robbed and that possession of gun would thwart that.

AH HA! I know see where the paranoia comes from. There has not been a significant policy change in the Obama administration nor has any legislation been introduced. The likelihood there would be a change pushed through congress is minimal. The make up of the congress is still too balanced and the Blue Dog Democrats would likely vote against a ban. However, talk radio has drummed up the specter of a socialist regime and the limitation of gun rights. My dad spends hours listening to Rush, Sean Hannity, and Glen Beck. He believes every word they say. He spends his days and evenings watching the Fox News channel on his TV.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The above story is interesting and tragic. We lost three police officers, all family men, and all here to serve the public. The suspect in this story was distraught, paranoid, and righteous in his belief that the government was going to take his guns. He used weapons designed to kill people, not animals, on the responding officers.

I am concerned that two storms are converging on the America we love. The belief that the government is going to take our guns and the belief that it is patriotic to take up arms to protect those rights. Pepper this with a healthy dose of racism and we could see a local insurgency that pales to the ones we have seen in the middle east. I believe in the spreading of hate, and paranoia the conservative news and talk radio outlets will create a self-fulfilling prophecy, gun violence will increase and so will the government's call the stop the blood shed. I am for lobbying to protect our rights, however, we are seeing unwarranted paranoia over legislation that has not been drafted, not been introduced, and not passed. If we spent more time studying the way our government functioned and less time assuming that a president can dictate law we might all sleep better.

Doubt

Much has been said lately about Chris Buttars comments about homosexuals recently in the media. It is slightly scary at what level of conviction he made those statements and at what level of conviction that those who think the same way agree. There is a certainty that their belief system is fact, supported by a sacred text that was inspired by god and that it is the absolute truth.

However this certainty is not reserved for homosexuals. We see it as the pious justify all of their policies and beliefs. Abortion is murder, god said...contraception is a sin, god said....the United States is a Christian Nation...god said. You get the picture. With this certainty comes a calling to wield a sword and to strike down all evil in the world. This power, given by god, results in oppression of minorities, women, homosexuals, non-believers, and those who are not of their faith.

When I was five there was certainty there was a Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, and an Easter Bunny. When I was 11, I wanted so bad for those to be real but I started to ask questions and soon abandoned them as icons. When I was 12, a devout LDS boy living in a home with parents who were not active in the church, I started to see how poorly my family was treated and I started to ask questions. By the time, I was 14 I was having a "Crisis of Faith" and my attendance became sporadic. When I was 16, I was ordained a priest and within the year I was a self proclaimed atheist.

I didn't really know at 16 if I was an atheist or a Mormon. What I knew was I had doubt. That doubt led me on a journey. I questioned, read, asked questions and demanded answers....all led me to more doubt, more questions and a deeper search. Not one text but many. My journey was first a search for affirmation that the god I loved for the last 16 years was. It, over time, morphed into a journey to prove he was not. As I have aged and seasoned the message has tempered. I no longer quest to prove god does not exist but to ask hard questions. I do not find the old stand by "you have to have faith" to be good enough.

I recently watched the film "Religulous" by Bill Maher. Bill Maher is, by all accounts, an atheist. The film and the sarcasm contained within is my type of humor and I honestly enjoyed it from an entertainment standpoint. However, the message at the end of the film made me stop and really think. Maher discusses DOUBT! He discusses, as I did at the beginning of this post, that it is in certainty that we are called to action to forward our cause. However with a little doubt, a little humility, we pause. I am sure enough of the path I have chosen to continue my journey, I however have enough doubt that I am not going try to convince you that you should join me. I will however question your assertions not as a means to sway you from your belief but in an attempt to lessen my doubt!

Gay Rights

The righteouslature is in session right now and I keep hearing how allowing Gay couples the same rights as heterosexual married folks is a "slippery slope" to destroying the traditional family and traditional family values. Every time I hear that statement the flashing word "bigot" comes to mind.



As it says in my profile, I am married, I have five children and with the risk of sounding like Larry Craig, R, Idaho...I am not gay, I have never been gay. I have however, at one point in my life, been a bigot.



I moved away from home when I was 18. I lived in an apartment with my best friend Austin and my not so best friends Clint and Phillip. We had a typical bachelor pad. Clint found himself in love and need to quickly get married in the Temple before his unprincipled male urges made him temporarily ineligible to marry in that building.



At 18, I looked 16. I was working on the show "Barnum" at Pioneer Theatre Company" at the University of Utah. The lead male, Jess Richards, was 42 years old. He started to pay some attention to me and eventually made a physical pass at me in his dressing room. As an 18 year old boy who grew up in a very sheltered small town, this was a shock. I had always been obsessed with girls. However, I thought that I was oozing a gayness from my pores and that there must be something wrong with me. Why else would this guy have got the impression that I was gay.


I spent the next week fairly withdrawn trying to figure out if there was something wrong with me. I didn't discuss the incident with anyone and Jess figured out that he had crossed the line and apologized to me. My "manhood" was reaffirmed when I saw an attractive woman at the swimming pool in a bikini and I knew that was what I liked.


We needed a roommate to cover Clint's portion of the rent. I had met this kid Joey at the theatre. He was from Price (if I remember correctly). A town smaller than the one I grew up in. He was looking for a place to live. I asked him point blank if he was gay. He claimed he was not. He lied. He had all of the stereotypical attributes that pop culture would assign a gay male but I initially took him at his word. He changed major from theatre to nursing and then told me he wanted to work with AIDS patients. He eventually started hanging out with a kid from the U who turned out to be the president of the Gay Lesbian bisexual Transgender Student Union. Joey and his friend were by all accounts nice guys. They were much nicer than Phillip. Now Just in case you think this is going to be one of those "It's a Wonderful Life" endings you are sadly, as am I, mistaken. I invited Joey to move out. I was much more comfortable with a womanizer alcoholic (Phillip) than I was living with a gay male.


I grew up in a small town were being gay meant you could at minimum ostracised and could very likely get your ass kicked. My dad was former Military and grew up in a smaller town than he was raising us in. He had no tolerance for homosexuals and would not be opposed to using derogatory language to describe them. One of the worst insults and one the meanest things ever said to me by my mother was insinuating that because I was into theatre that I was a "queer".

During the school year I had more opportunities to date men than I did women. I was asked out several times by dancer's, actors, crew members. I went out once with the president of the local chamber of commerce's....daughter. My prejudices against homosexuality had started to harden and become part of who I am.

The summer of '84 I went to Park City, UT to work as the Production Stage Manager of the Park City Shakespeare Festival. While there I met Anne. Anne was a good listener with an incredibly engaging smile and a devilish twinkle in her eyes. Anne and I became friends. Although she was never a romantic interest we would be seen holding hands, walking arm in arm, and in other situations that led others to believe we were "together". I started to share with Anne a level of honesty I had yet to share with anyone (except my former girlfriend and current wife.). One evening Anne and I were in the hallway of the condo complex I was staying in. If I remember correctly my head was in her lap and we were having a quiet conversation about life. During the course of discussion I blurted an insensitive and homophobic remark out. At that moment I felt Anne tense up, she stared into my eyes and said matter-of-fact-ly, "Kevin, I am gay".

It was at this moment that my views changed dramatically, I pulled my foot out of my mouth and with tears in my eyes apologized. I love Anne, as a friend, a confidant, as a fellow human being and wanted to do nothing to hurt her. For me, Anne took the us and them factor out of homosexuality. She was what we should all know about all people we encounter, a person with feelings, passions, desires and with a huge capacity to love.

With the exception of my love Lisa, no one else has had a bigger impact I the way I view the world than Anne. I returned to the U with new acceptance for the people I worked with. I no longer found it threatening to be in the company of gay actors who openly would tell me they thought I was cute. I have never met a gay person who knowing that I was straight tried to recruit me. I knew what my gender preferences were because they had been assigned to me at conception as I believe theirs were.

Now we have seen 3 "Common Ground" bills defeated by the legislature because they extend some protections to homosexuals including the right to visit their loved on in the hospital, the right to inherit property, and the right to be free from discrimination in the work place. These are some things that were promised when we had amendment three rammed down our throats by a pious legislature and a bigoted electorate. The buzz word is "slippery slope." If we allow them protection from discrimination we may have to allow them to marry and god forbid have the same opportunity for happiness the rest of us get. We may have to acknowledge they are "fellow passengers to the grave".

I think the most reprehensible things said have been said by State Senator Chris Butters. Unfortunately this bigot represents my district. In a recent Salt Lake Tribune Article he said the gay-rights movement "probably the greatest threat to America," likened gay activists to Muslim radicals and called same-sex relationships "abominations." Unfortunately he is the only politician who says what he believes. Many of our elected officials believe the same thing privately and vote publicly with those prejudices.

In my home it is not that way, we accept everyone. I don't have gay friends and straight friends...I have friends. My children are the next generation and my adult children support rights for all. My younger children are being raised to support the rights for all as well. I hope they follow the lead of their siblings. Maybe between now and the next generation we can turn the tide and vote the way of equality for everyone.

Thank you Anne...I think that everyone should have an Anne in their lives....and Joey...I am sorry.

LDS Church Strangle Hold on Legislature

I have believed for years that Utah is as close as you can come to a religious state, like the ones in the Middle East, in the free world. No social legislation gets passed unless the LDS Church gives its nod. Again....if you are tempted to say well you should try living in the bible belt...spare me. Just because someone is as goofy as we are does not justify our goofiness.

I was listening to Doug Wright on this subject the other day. He went on in his diatribe defending the LDS Church as a constituent of the State of Utah who was merely exercising its voice as a part of that constituency. This is a complete manipulation of the churches relationship with government. There is supposed to be a healthy separation. By definition a constituency is : a body of citizens entitled to elect a representative (as to a legislative or executive position). The LDS Church does not have a vote as a church or as a corporation and therefore it is not a constituent of the local government. In Utah, this groups approval of controversial or morals base legislation in sought. They do not have to lobby like a regular corporation does but they get a greater proportionate share of attention than the voter or any other corporation and church.

As a lobbyist, you will not find a more influential group in the State of Utah and we found recently that the power can reach across our borders like they did in the Prop 8 controversy in California. A mere memo read from the pulpits of the local ward houses can create a wave of activism and a financial out reach that is very powerful and has undue influence on out elected officials. I personally cannot wait for the day that they are equal with the Catholics and other minority groups. Maybe not in my lifetime but my kids may see it.

In Obama-History!

I watched the Obama inauguration from start to finish in my cubicle at my day job. I watched it with a couple of my peers who were completely captivated by the historical moment. However I was taken back by the fact the majority of my co-workers were on the surface disinterested and when probed looked at the event with contempt. I heard comments like "what has he done."... " He's a socialist"..."you think he is our savior".

Regardless of politics we have to acknowledge this is a landmark event for our country. Barack Obama is indeed the first African-American president and not only did he win a general election he won by a substantial margin. This one event legitimizes the civil rights movement and represents a culmination of a 150 year struggle to achieve equality for many African-American citizens. The history is not just in his inauguration as the first president of color but in the fact that the American Public elected him for the hope he represented.

I have to admit that I am an avid Obama supporter. I did not vote for him in the Utah primary election ( I voted for Hilary) but I was converted in part by my children who are of voting age and by his reasoned message that was always thoughtfully and eloquently delivered. I wanted a clear break from the Bush policies that not only discredited our great nation but threatened the integrity of our constitution. I have been impressed by the folks who have crossed party lines to support this man as well. Men and women who have unquestionable integrity like Colin Powell.

I have a dear friend who is upset that Obama in his first three days in office has issued 5 executive orders and one of them ordering the close of GITMO. She said she believed these were the actions of a king and not a president. I believe we are seeing a man who knows the weight and the importance of his office and the constitution acting to reverse perverse wrongs that we allowed the last president impose on not only the world but his own people.

I am concerned that many Americans, pushed by their own political prejudice are rooting for Obama to fail. Rush Limbaugh recently said on his radio show that he wanted Obama to fail. He went on to say that he didn't want the liberal policies to be successful. My questions is if it works why do we not want it to be successful. I don't see how we can defend the last 8 years or at the end of the day say this country is better off.

Hold on to your rights...the Legislature is in session!

For the last decade or so I have followed the Utah State Legislature while it is in session. Every year we get a new 340 or so laws and resolutions. However we rarely see any removed from the books. For example, in Utah Fornication is a Class B Misdemeanor. What does that mean? Technically pre-marital sex is a crime. Now they have acknowledged they have not enforced this law for years but they have a moral imperative to keep it on the books because pre-marital sex is immoral.

Private Clubs and the Zion Curtain

This year the hot button issue is our ridiculous liquor laws. Let me stop you before you are inclined to point out to me that we are not the only state with silly liquor laws....Just because someone else is doing it does not mean that we should. Here in Utah the control of liquor is more than a public health issue it is a moral issue. The state legislature is controlled by an overwhelming group of Teetotalers. Folks who have not consumed alcohol in their lives and their knowledge of alcohol consumption is based upon their religious and moral objections to it. The LDS church has a strong moral objection to any consumption of alcohol. Most of our legislators are LDS. It is not the public health portion of the argument that causes folks to want to deny your free choice to consume, in a bar, an alcoholic beverage. It is the religious moral objection. There is a moral imperative and that translates into a crusade and if you don't get on the wagon you will be ran over by it.

We have a private club system here in Utah and I believe we are the only state that does. We relegate alcohol sales to liquor stores that are closed on Sunday and Election Day (as well as all other state and federal holidays). What we know is the Private Club system is no more successful at stopping underage drinking than our Liquor stores. The liquor stores are about revenue. In a state where we try to privatize everything including some emergency services and prisons, we have state run liquor stores(socialism?). Why? They really do not stop or slow the flow of alcohol but they do produce revenue because all alcohol is taxed and marked up at a ridiculous rate. That money goes to pay for the expensive retail buildings and state employees (most of whom get health benefits and retirements that all retail sales folks would love to have).

Now the President of the Senate, Michael Waddoups, wants to have all drinks mixed in a back room or behind a barrier and out of the view of children because it will tempt the little lads and lasses into drinking, under age. There has been much said about this in the local Salt Lake Tribune Public Forum. My favorite points have been:

1. Over Eating is as dangerous as drinking and can have the same deadly effect. We should make sure our children do not witness obese people eating and enjoying their food as the may become obese.
2. Tavern owners should have armed guards protecting the alcohol and making sure no one is seen enjoying themselves (this is sarcasm of course)
3. Our liquor laws are driving away jobs. Companies decline to locate here because there is a perception you cannot get a drink. Tourism suffers because folks choose Colorado instead of the greatest snow on earth.

There has been no documentation that any of our current controls curb alcohol abuse. In some cases our laws have been determined unconstitutional. However, tavern owners and retailers are hesitant to aggressively challenge liquor laws because the Alcohol Control Commission has a history of being heavy handed and vindictive.

I am of the opinion that liquor laws should have controls that reduce opportunity of under age drinking. Good ID laws are effective. I also believe we have a public health concern regarding over consumption and drunk driving. However I do not think any of our current archaic controls resolve any of the above problems. Liquor stores, as I said before, are about revenue. Private clubs are about making it difficult for all who want to drink. The Zion Curtain is about shielding the faithful and those who might be lured away from the temptation and offensiveness of drink.

Abortion and Sex Education!

I am not going to spend a lot of time on this hot button issue. It is noteworthy that in this country there has not been a significant change to the issue since Roe V. Wade. I am a liberal and a firm believer that a woman should have the right to choose and that this country's male dominated political system has no business determining what her reproductive rights should be. I am not pro abortion. I don't think anybody is.

Our legislature has announced it will not seek further bans on abortion, this year, because it knows the expensive legal fight in poor economic conditions will be unpopular. It has proposed that a legal defense fund be set up to pay for a future legal fight, maybe next year.

Most adults reading this post know how human life originates. However, in this state, we reject any comprehensive sex education that teaches our youth about the use of birth control or barriers to disease contraction. We prefer the abstinence only approach believing that the parents of the children should be the ones to determine their level of education. Unfortunately this method is flawed on several accounts:

1. Studies have show that abstinence only education is no more effective at preventing unplanned pregnancy than comprehensive sex ed.
2. Teens who engage in abstinence pledges have premarital sex at the same rate as Teens who have had comprehensive sex ed but fail to use any type of disease barrier at a higher rate than their educated contemporaries.
3. We know from the 80's that "just say no" is a great slogan but a poor public policy.
4. Parents are not doctors or nurses or otherwise educated on public health issues and pass on urban legends to their children.
5. Education is important because my Daughter may date your son. I don't know what you have told him and you don't know what I have told my daughter. Conversely you don't know what they have learned from their friends.

I believe the Salt Lake Tribune's opinion on this matter is correct. Educate teens and parents and we will dramatically reduce the instance of abortion.

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_11474583

I think we are on the precipices of a new era in politics; one were science and fact not religious piety and superstition will set public policy. I am also a firm believer that is how we stay free. I am hoping more folks "just say no" to laws that are written to limit rights in the name of morality but have no real effect on the problem or make the problem worse by putting it behind a Zion Curtain.