Bullying is not just perpetrated by the kids on the playground

There has been much said about the recent rash of gay teen suicides that have been caused in part by peer bullying.  The attention has resulted in of hundreds of links offered in Facebook and countless comments posted on Facebook, blogs, and other networked social media sites.  In Utah this attention crescendoed with the ill-timed and foolishly worded address given by Boyd K. Packer in the LDS general conference.

I think it is a shame that the attention is solely focused on bullying; because, the image that we as Americans have is limited to the school yard bully.  Bullying is only effective if the attacks on the child/teen have the effect of making them feel isolated, worthless, and without an ally.  The problem here is much deeper than just a school yard bully and it extends beyond homosexuality.

Andrew Hackman wrote in his blog: "Your attitudes will be reflected and amplified in your children."

What does the child do when his peers attitudes are reflected in the attitudes of his own parents, religion, religious leaders, and community.  This has been my point in the Facebook debates.  In Utah the LDS culture dominates on matters of public policy.  I have seen the most hateful and insensitive remarks come from purported temple recommend holding members regarding the "sinner" they see in a homosexual who lives his or her life in a full and meaning way including intimate same gender relationships.  They quote scripture, their "prophets", and make arguments that are writhe with logical fallacies all in an attempt to be in lock step with their doctrine.

Again I point to a brilliantly written piece by Andrew Hackman:

  Objecting to homosexuality, I believe, cannot be a universal moral. It is a religious conviction. I think for something to be considered a universal moral, and not merely a religious position, it has to be amenable to all faiths... and those without a faith. The bible says murder is wrong (although it acts it out more as a guideline than a rule) but I could also make a non-religious arguement as to why it is good for humanity to follow that position. On the contrary, I have yet to hear a valid argument against homosexuality that did not come back to a religious point and/or that individual's personal "ick" factor with homosexuality. 

I concur with Andrews stance on this matter but take it a step further in that I have to question why you would hold the texts of any religion and the texts specifically of Christianity and Mormonism (they are the texts that I have some experience with)  as a supreme word given their flaws.  Many religious scholars will tell you that the texts are not historical and the events and people are not actual but allegorical.  So based upon a myth we will throw away or relationships with actual people for salvation that is not likely real now matter how nice it sounds.  

I have seen first hand the mistreatment of a child who diverges from their parents religious world view.  Whether it is a homosexual teen who comes out of the closet or a heterosexual teen or young adult who engages in the very natural act of premarital sex.  The child who chooses not to go on a mission or the child who has the audacity to leave the family's church.  The messages delivered to that young and inexperienced human is : If you continue on this course your are going to hell.  You are no longer worthy of your heavenly father's protection or mine.

The bullying is not just from their peers but from their religious leaders and sadly form their family members.  I have seen this first hand because it has happened to me and to my spouse.  It is a guilt that takes years to repair and for some the on relief from it comes in the form of drug abuse or from the last desperate act of suicide.

I cannot figure out why we choose to chase a myth developed from contrived man made religious dogma while we throw away the amazing relationships with our children/youth and adult citizens who exercise their freedom and engage in age appropriate consensual  relationships that are natural and normal.

I think the question here is does your loved one have a place to go for comfort and are you providing it or are you pushing them to their last desperate solution through your piety and inflexible adherence to doctrine?

Yellow Journalism is Alive and Well in Utah!

What happens when a religious power house has control of several dominate media outlets in a market and then declares it will produce news in a manner consistent with the faith's belief system and then edits comments on the comment boards of its paper and closes comment boards on its television news site and combines the staff of both its Television outlets and its newspaper... You get crap like this:  Society paying price for pornography use

Bruce Lindsay appears to be hosting a three part segment on the trappings of pornography use and its detriment to society presented as an investigative journalism piece(for some reason KSL pulled the video for this segment).  The reality is that Deseret Media company has launched a new initiative called Out in the Light and the Bruce Lindsay's Sunday Edition in this case is being used as a "journalism" source to bring attention to the illness of pornography addiction and the harm it does to families.

Yellow Journalism:

Yellow journalism or the yellow press is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers. Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism. By extension "Yellow Journalism" is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion.~Wikipedia

Here is the problem with this "news" source:  The station, KSL, is owned by the LDS Church.  The two experts cited in the news story both have something to gain or loose by their endorsement of lack of endorsement.  Dr. Rory Reid is a graduate of BYU and is associated with one of two of the counseling firms that have links to the Out in the Light website.  Dr. Liz Hale, while a licensed therapist, is an employee of the the Church Owned KSL.  At no time is the disclosure made

Here is the problem with the topic:  The American Psychological Association does not recognize sex addiction or pornography addiction as diagnosable disorders.  Dr. Reid must know this because on his website he indicates a specialization in "hypersexual behavior and pornography dependence".  Hyper-sexual behavior is not in and of its self a disorder but a symptom of some compulsive disorders including bi-polar disorder.

There is a link to LDS biases with regard to sex and sexuality and what is considered normal.  The LDS church, while not unique in its doctrinal approach to sex, considers pornography use a sin worthy of revoking a temple recommend.  With out the recommend the wife now fears that her "eternal family" is in jeopardy.  This can and has caused a strong emotional reaction.  While in general the APA views pornography use inside the marriage and as a tool to facilitate arousal for an individual as normal; there is no such concession for the LDS faithful.  It is considered repugnant.  This can create a double bind for the person who finds him/herself engaged in normal expressions of sexuality which is denied by doctrine.  The resulting cognitive dissonance over time may lead to mental health problems.

So in the case of the story referenced above.... the "story" is an infomercial that is meant to solve a problem... that is only a problem because they made it a problem.  I think if fits the definition of Yellow Journalism.

Your child's desire to learn is the key to a good education... with innovation!

A Facebook friend (Staci Baker Centini) posted this TED talk by Sugata Mitra.  Sugata stated one obvious fact in that he asserts the best teachers do not want to teach where they are need most.  However it was the exploration of the third world (or inner city if your in America) child's natural curiosity that led to the discovery that children want to learn and if you spark the interest the teacher and their credentials are irrelevant.

I have seen the result this experiment in my own children.  I was commenting to my lovely wife that our kids are not afraid of technology.  They migrate to it and understand it.  When computers were first introduced into my working environment I had to attend hours of classes to figure them out.  My wife says she avoids some technology because she is afraid she will break it.  My kids on the other hand quickly figured out how to make them work and how to find information.  I was having a discussion about the "talk" with my oldest not to long ago.  He is 23.  He told me that his own curiosity on the subject made the "talk" irrelevant.  Books from the dictionary, to biology and a Google search gave him the information he needed.

The above example however illustrates why the teacher is still critical to the learning process.  "Using the method of the grandmother" children can learn to sort out what information is accurate and appropriate to the topic and to their age.

The hypothesis he comes to at the end of the talk is very provocative:

Education is a self organising system where learning is an emergent phenomenon..... 

The question is:  Is Sugata Mitra's hypothesis worth funding and is the innovation worth the risk?

I think it might be....

"What's Your Program Boy?"

While I was working for the Department of Corrections I had an administrator frequently reminisce about the days he worked for Mayor Richard Daley in Chicago.  He would frequently tell us that if we wanted to institute change we needed a plan.  "... and Mayor Daley would say to me 'What's your program boy.'", he would say.

I have seen the nauseating countdown to the election for Tea Party Conservatives on Facebook.  What I know is they are giddy with delight at the prospects that the conservative will return to power with their fundamentalists at the head.  What I don't know is "What's the program?"  I've heard the Fox spun tag lines and sound bites but what is really their program.

According to Wikipedia it is:

1. Identify constitutionality of every new law: Require each bill to identify the specific provision of the Constitution that gives Congress the power to do what the bill does. (82.03%)
2. Reject emissions trading: Stop the "cap and trade" administrative approach used to control carbon dioxide emissions by providing economic incentives for achieving reductions in the emissions of carbon dioxide. (72.20%)
3. Demand a balanced federal budget: Begin the Constitutional amendment process to require a balanced budget with a two-thirds majority needed for any tax modification. (69.69%)
4. Simplify the tax system: Adopt a simple and fair single-rate tax system by scrapping the internal revenue code and replacing it with one that is no longer than 4,543 words – the length of the original Constitution. (64.9%)
5. Audit federal government agencies for constitutionality: Create a Blue Ribbon taskforce that engages in an audit of federal agencies and programs, assessing their Constitutionality, and identifying duplication, waste, ineffectiveness, and agencies and programs better left for the states or local authorities. (63.37%)
6. Limit annual growth in federal spending: Impose a statutory cap limiting the annual growth in total federal spending to the sum of the inflation rate plus the percentage of population growth. (56.57%)
7. Repeal the health care legislation passed on March 23, 2010: Defund, repeal and replace the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. (56.39%)
8. Pass an 'All-of-the-Above' Energy Policy: Authorize the exploration of additional energy reserves to reduce American dependence on foreign energy sources and reduce regulatory barriers to all other forms of energy creation. (55.5%)
9. Reduce Earmarks: Place a moratorium on all earmarks until the budget is balanced, and then require a 2/3 majority to pass any earmark. (55.47%)
10. Reduce Taxes: Permanently repeal all recent tax increases, and extend current temporary reductions in income tax, capital gains tax and estate taxes, currently scheduled to end in 2011. (53.38%)

Okay that is simple enough.... But how and at what cost.  Unfortunately the Tea Party members on the whole are less than astute and less than educated on what the net result of this agenda will be or if it is even possible.  What we are seeing is "throw the baby out with the bath water" politics.  The policies they propose will likely grind the economy to a halt.  

I know!  I have heard it ad nausea!  The government is too big and there is nothing that the government can do that the private sector can't do better.  I have yet to see a large road project, a school being built, a prison under construction, or civic center opened that is actually built by the government.  For every government contract there is a capitalist exploiting the tax payer and fleecing the tax base.  Those contractors are employing folks, paying wages that are then again taxed.  The more people who pay into the system the lower the burden on you and I.  

So while the contract points listed above sound nice what is the real cost to implement them. More importantly what is the "Program Boy"?

Discussion Group: Indoctrination is it Dangerous ~ What is your experience?

Indoctrination is the process of inculcating ideas, attitudes, cognitive strategies or a professional methodology.... It is often distinguished from education by the fact that the indoctrinated person is expected not to question or critically examine the doctrine they have learned.[2] As such it is used pejoratively, often in the context of political opinions, theology or religious dogma. ~ Wikipedia

I have noticed in some of my conversations recently how the level of indoctrination a person has experienced and holds on to effects their ability to engage in a discussion that requires critical evaluation.  There seems to be a point where reason turns off and the programming takes over.  Now I know that as an atheist my BS meter is probably set lower and my world view is skewed.

I wasn't always this way.  As a Mormon youth I was guilty of saying some pretty crazy stuff out loud.  Much of if I did not even give a second thought to until I got older and then I had the realization that maybe it wasn't reasonable and that is did not add up.  Even shortly after I got married the little guilt feelings would haunt me.  Not because I was doing anything wrong but because I had this programming.

I have not programmed or indoctrinated my children.  If you know me you might find that hard to believe.  While I openly speak out against religion I encourage them to ask questions to ponder the superstition and to reason through it.  I also believe there is a big difference between education and indoctrination.

So my question is how do you view religious indoctrination.  What has been your experience and do you think it has impaired your ability to look critically at your beliefs?  Do you think it is dangerous to oneself, the country, or our society as a whole?

If you are praying for Christopher Hitchens Death ....... go *#&@ yourselves

As you may be aware Christopher Hitchens is dying of esophageal cancer.  He has been repeatedly asked if he will convert on his death bed.  He says not and if a person in the body of Christopher Hitchens does he was not in his right mind.

When asked if he minded if people prayed for him he said he was flattered by those who prayed for him to get well and did not really care about those who prayed for him to die.

The Atlantic Journal has a different take:

I found this candid statement from the Atlantic Journal refreshing.

Thanks again to PZ Myers for bringing it to our attention.

Sexuality... Who Owns It?

I cannot figure out what we have, as a human culture against, sex education.  This video and the others like it that demonstrate mutilation of women to curb either their interest in sex of their attractiveness to the opposite sex represent the collective evil that we can do as a species to each other.

I know your thinking "now Curmudgeon, that does not happen in civilized societies like America."  Yes it does.  The same barbarous practices happen in secret here cloaked in religious ceremonies and under the guise of religious freedom.  Additionally, we tolerate in the open ritualistic psychological abuse in the form religious dogma.

Our children are taught from the earliest ages to deny their sexuality.  I was always taught that god made us sexual beings as a test to our faith and resolve to keeps his commandments.  I was taught to push back every sexual thought and feeling as inappropriate and wicked.  Of course abstinence was the key to a happy marriage and an eternal life.

The fact is that we have sexual feelings because humans are sexual beings.  It is not wrong to act on those feelings as long as you understand the risks, you aren't hurting someone else, and the parties are consenting.  

For some reason as a species we feel we have a need to own everyone's sexuality.  In the name of superstition we have taught our daughters that their self-worth is wrapped up in the physical condition of their bodies(virginity) not their contribution society.  We teach our boys and men to deny sexuality and to avoid engaging in even the most rudimentary and normal practices including masturbation.  In India girls are raised to  expect careers in brothels.  In the Middle East they are forced to cover almost every inch of skin and in Africa are subject to mutilation.  Boys in the Judeo-Christian areas of the world are subject to a now medically indefensible practice of circumcision.

In western cultures we put our men and women through reparative therapy to cure their homosexual tendencies in what usually amounts to a suppression of their selves and in many cases has resulted in depression and suicide. We operate on the assumption that based on our selective reading of the bible that homosexuality is a choice and a sin. We ignore scientific studies that indicate it is instead a naturally occurring variation in our genes.

I have struggled to come to grips with why we feel we need to be involved in everyone else's sexuality and it comes down to one thing.... control.  We changed from a hunter gatherer society to an agricultural society about 10,000 years ago and property became definable including sexual property.  It is also around that time we started forming religious dogma.  This changed the way our society functioned and the practices discussed above became ritual with that dogma.  As we awake from that haze as a culture and information flows so freely we need to realize we do not own anyone's sexuality.... but our own.  It is in that realization that we will find healthy relationships and in that realization that we can guide our children to make choices that work for them in the most healthy manner.