Why it didn't take....

I was talking to my friend Grant a couple of years ago about Mormon indoctrination.  I offered this Jesuit quote:

"Give me the child till the age of seven 

and I will show you the man." 

He quipped back, "Well if that were true why don't we still have you?"

It is a good question.  Why?  I was raised in American Fork, Utah.  You will not find a more fundamental Mormon community.  This was especially true in the 70's and 80's.  Everything about daily life centered on the Mormon tradition.  All of my mentors, outside of the home, were faithful practicing Mormons.  I had the utmost respect for them and admired their spirituality.  So why am I now a militant atheist?

As I pondered this question it dawned on me.  Because I was never fully "in".  My parents were "Jack-Mormons".  They lived outside of the bubble.  For the first 20 or so years of my life they still believed but chose not to do Mormonism by the book.  I think their level of belief started to fall off as they aged.  More importantly they didn't accept all of the tenants of Mormonism as truth or even as what they perceived a just god would condone.  My mother would frequently ask why.  'Why can't blacks hold the priesthood?'  'Why can't women?'  'Why is this guy a bishop when the whole town knows he is crook?'  'How did this guy get to stay as the bishop when was molesting children? '

My Dad was known for saying, "Well that's bullshit."

I learned from my parents, that questioning authority, demanding evidence, and being willing to declare something bullshit when the facts didn't support the claims was a virtue.  My personality made it difficult for me to compartmentalize for any prolonged period of time.

I also think this is why many members do not allow their children to play with non members, children of apostates or children of Jack-Mormons.  Because if they find out that it is reasonable to not believe... it won't take.    

Atheism V Mormonism- A note to Daniel C. Peterson

Double Talk

Atheists have been the subject of a couple of high profile articles in the Deseret News Mormon Times Section.  The most recent article was by Daniel Peterson.

Trying to make their view seem merely a minor logical extension of my own, several atheistic acquaintances have assured me that there is little difference between us: They just happen to disbelieve in one more god than I do.

Mr. Peterson, We are not trying to make our beliefs a logical extension to yours we are just pointing out that you do not believe the other religions manifestation of god is equal to yours and in fact you have been taught they are false.

They seem to imagine that being a Latter-day Saint entails rejecting all non-Mormon religious experiences and disbelieving every doctrine of every other faith. This, however, is not true.

You are guilty of revisionist history.  The official record shows:

Joseph Smith said, "My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right — and which I should join. I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong, and the personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in His sight: that those professors were all corrupt . . ." (Joseph Smith, "History of the Church, Vol. 1, page 5-6.)

And scripture says this:

The Book of Mormon says, "And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth" (1 Nephi 14:10).

Given that.  How can you justify saying this:

When Joseph Smith learned that the then-existing Christian churches were corrupt, that didn't mean that they were totally wrong. To say that something is "corrupt" means that it has been damaged. We speak of "corrupted texts" or "corrupted files," intending to say that they have been infected or tainted — not that their original content has been replaced by something completely different.

In fact, many mainstream Christian doctrines were and are substantially correct. There is indeed a God. He has a divine Son who came to earth, atoned for our sins, rose again on the third day and now sits at the right hand of his Father. Those who taught prayer, preached of the Savior and translated the New Testament during the centuries between the early apostles and the Restoration preserved and transmitted many central gospel truths.

But what about non-Christians? Do they worship false gods?

Jews certainly don't. Believing Jews accept the Old Testament, venerating the God who brought Israel out of Egypt, spoke through the prophet Isaiah and was proclaimed by Jesus (a Palestinian Jew).

According to Brigham Young they do:

"I would rather undertake to convert five thousand Lamanites , than to convert one of those poor miserable creatures whose fathers killed the savior... Yes, I would rather undertake to convert the devil himself, if it were possible... I would say, leave them, and come home, the Lord does not require you to stay there, for they must suffer and be damned... [L]eave them to live and die in their sins and ignorance... [T]hey take pleasure in their wickedness..." (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 2, p. 143, 1854)

But what of Islam? Isn't "Allah" a false god? No. According to the Qur'an, Allah created the earth in six days, placed Adam and Eve in Eden, and then inspired prophets like Noah, Abraham, Moses and Jesus. Sound familiar?

"Allah" is simply the Arabic equivalent of English "God," related to the Hebrew "Elohim." Moreover, Allah is the God not only of Muslims but of all Arabic-speaking Christians and Jews. "In the beginning, (Allah) created the heavens and the earth," reads Arabic Genesis. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with (Allah), and the Word was (Allah)," says the Arabic version of John 1:1. "We believe in (Allah), the Eternal Father," says the first Article of Faith in Arabic, "and in his Son, Jesus Christ."

Muslims, Christians and Jews disagree about God, but that doesn't create numerically different gods. My neighbor regards Senator Foghorn as the greatest orator since Daniel Webster; I think he's a noxious windbag. But there is, mercifully, only one Senator Foghorn. Our different opinions don't spawn multiple senators.

There has been less said about Muslims.  But much has been said about dark skinned people and people of other races.  In fact while not officially supported by the official doctrine since the late 70's it is still supported in attitude among a significant number of members.  

But what of the non-Abrahamic religions? Are they too far wrong? It seems presumptuous to declare that mistaken but sincere devotion means nothing to our loving Father in Heaven.

In fact, Christians have been quite willing over the centuries to equate Zeus, the supreme ruler and father of the Greek Gods (the Romans' Jupiter or Jove), with the God of Christian belief. Shakespeare's Juliet chides Romeo from her balcony with a close paraphrase of the pagan Roman poet Ovid: "At lovers' perjuries, they say, Jove laughs." The great medieval Christian poet Dante says that it was Jove who died on the cross ("Purgatorio" 6:118-119).

When the apostle Paul, preaching on Mars Hill, sought to connect with the pagan Athenians (Acts 17:24-28), he identified Zeus with Israel's God: "For in him we live and move and have our being," he taught, quoting the words about Zeus of a sixth-century B.C. Cretan philosopher. "As some of your own poets have said," he continued, citing a third-century B.C. philosopher's verse about Zeus, "'we are his offspring.'"

In the final volume of C.S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia," a Calormene soldier named Emeth (= Hebrew "truth") has been a sincere worshiper of the false god Tash all of his life. When, at the end, he meets Aslan and recognizes the true God, he expects severe punishment. But Aslan graciously reassures him that "all the service thou hast done to Tash, I accept as service done to me," explaining that, although Emeth had been unaware of it, his honest devotion was actually to Aslan, rather than to Tash. "No service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him."

 The last three quotes paragraphs are comical at best.  Mr. Peterson you are quoting works of fiction as a support for your argument.  The worlds of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and the works of Dante were fantasies.  The world of C.S Lewis' Narnia did not exist and Zeus according to common theological thought was nothing more than an invention of the men who worshiped him.

God's sheep recognize his voice, even when it's in a different language or imperfectly heard. They follow him as best they can and will not lose their reward.

If this last paragraph is true then the plan a salvation is a hoax.  The time and service you demand from followers is a hoax.  Baptism for the dead is a hoax.  You cannot have it both ways.  You cannot claim the as atheists we are wrong and rally the other folks of faith together telling them that you were just kidding about the whole abomination thing.

Here is the reality Mr. Peterson; as we look at the history of the LDS Church with a critical eye the claims made and promises offered appear to be absurdities.  The men who made those claims were even more suspect in character.  We spent years searching for comfort in the plan of salvation and when we discovered the church was not what it purports to be we left.  Not only was our faith no longer in tact but neither was our ability to believe in any god.  Through further investigation we discovered the claims of Islam, Christianity, and Jewish faiths were equally suspect.  We believe in one less god than you do.  You do not hold the gods of other faiths in the same regard as you do your own.  They are not minor doctrinal issues but major chasms in which your members have been taught they are better than the others and they have the only plan of salvation.  The rest are "Whores of the Earth."

If you are praying for Christopher Hitchens Death ....... go *#&@ yourselves

As you may be aware Christopher Hitchens is dying of esophageal cancer.  He has been repeatedly asked if he will convert on his death bed.  He says not and if a person in the body of Christopher Hitchens does he was not in his right mind.

When asked if he minded if people prayed for him he said he was flattered by those who prayed for him to get well and did not really care about those who prayed for him to die.

The Atlantic Journal has a different take:

I found this candid statement from the Atlantic Journal refreshing.

Thanks again to PZ Myers for bringing it to our attention.

Words of Wisdom

This clip by Lord Bertrand Russell has all of the wisdom we get from a LDS General Authority or Evangelical Minister. It comes from a man who felt strongly about his convictions...strong enough to go to jail. However it comes from a man who had no belief in god. He was an open atheist when it was very dangerous to be so. I believe this clip is from 1959.

Failed theist argument against Atheism

I have been known to point out the atrocities committed in the name of religion. My theist friends, acquaintances, and antagonist like to tell me about the atheists who have committed great crimes against humanity. As if they committed them because of their lack of belief.

First, Hitler, by all accounts, was not an atheist. He frequently attributed his racism to an ordination by god. He was raised as a theist and benefited from the blind eye that the Catholic Church turned to his cruelty.

Second, Stalin and Pol Pot did not commit their atrocities because they had no belief. The argument is absurd. They indeed committed their crimes because they had a deep devotion to a political ideal. Not because the were compelled by the god they had no belief in.

Non belief is at the base line. All humans are born without belief. It therefore has no compulsion that is intrinsic. Belief is acquired and requires faith and has been the motivation for the crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the Jim Jones incident, the Salem Witch Trials and the list goes on and on. Religion creates a compulsion to action. Atheism has no such trait.

The basis for atheism is born in reason not fanaticism. While atheists like me who are out spoken are accused of having a fundamental belief the claim is a mischaracterization. We want proof. When there is insufficient evidence we treat absolute claims with a skeptical eye. When there is sufficient disproof we abandon the prior theory as false. The tendency to link atheism with communism and fascism because historically in this country we have treated both as a threat to democracy. However religion philosophy is closer to both ideals than atheism. I dare say that at the end of the day that religion is a bigger threat to democracy than atheism ever could be.

Christmas...means less now that my baby doesn't belive in Santa!

This time of year is very aggravating to me. We have a bunch of expectations to meet and even in times of plenty I struggle to succumb to the commercialism of the holiday.

When I was a kid who still had a belief in Santa...and in a god...this season was all magic. From the decorations to the cookies and fudge to the gifts and the anticipation. I loved the stories of a Night Before Christmas, The Little Drummer Boy, and A Christmas Carol.

As I grew older Christmas became tainted by the domestic issues my parents had and the expectations that my father had failed to meet or the unrealistic expectations that my mother had of him. But, for most of the years I lived at home there was someone who believed in Santa Claus.

I easily shed my belief in god at about age 16. The belief in Santa had be be pried from me at age 12. I suffered greatly at this time of year. I worried about the emotional health of my family and if Santa knew what I wanted for Christmas. The night before Christmas I would lay awake the entire night listening for Sleigh Bells and wondering how Santa would get down that chimney; which would lead him to the basement where I slept, and get upstairs without me hearing him. I became a Santa apologist. I was a hopeless romantic!

When I started having children of my own I still loved the whole idea of Santa...but hated the financial pressures the season brings. We did little to raise our children as Christians in fact we avoided most references to Christ in the season. When my oldest, Skyler was about four he was watching a "First Christmas" program on TV. He turned from the TV and asked emphatically..."who is this Jesus dude anyway?" When my youngest boy, Michael, was about 10 he was helping my wife set up a small nativity in the great room. He handed her a figurine of the baby Jesus and said, "Don't forget Noah". He only knew about Noah from the Veggie Tales cartoon that my Mother-in-law lent him despite my objection.

My youngest, Kiera, shed her belief in Santa last year telling us she had caught us a couple of years ago. She kept up appearances because of the "If you don't believe...you don't receive" mantra my wife would repeat all season.

For a Curmudgeon, I love to entertain, decorate my home, and to cook great meals for my family and guests. I am a designer at heart and each tree I put up is an experiment in a new theme, color pallet, each center piece is an opportunity to show Martha Stewart up!

I started this blog as a result of struggling with this question...'Why does an atheist celebrate Christmas at all?' A year later I an no closer to answering this question. I spent most of today shopping for gifts and supporting this artificial economy we have built around this holiday. I believe more this year than I did last that Christ was a legend and not a real person. I struggle to justify the celebration in his name or the financial stress this holiday puts on me and most of middle America. I celebrate it because my wife still loves it.....And I design a mean Christmas Tree!

It begs the question.....

I have been doing a bunch reading of late. I just finished the book God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, by Christopher Hitchens and am currently reading godless, by Dan Barker. They both discuss in great detail why they are atheists and how they came to that conclusion. I also found Sam Harris’ foundation the ”Reason Project”. Some of the concepts ring very true to and I have really wanted to discuss them out loud. I started a conversation with my lovely wife. It went kind of like this:

Her: I believe there is something more.

Me: what is your basis for that belief?

Her: Don’t try to change me. I have not tried to change you!

Sam Harris discusses a “War of Ideas” and I touched on that discussion in a previous blog post. I am finding that it may very well be ‘a war of ideas’…especially when an atheist asks questions. There is a rush to a defensive position. If someone asserts “I believe the moon is made of cheese” and you submit arguments based in science to refute the claim that is acceptable. If someone says” I believe the earth is 6,000 years old” (an assertion based in religious dogma) and you attempt to refute the claim you may be in for a very impassioned defense.

By asking questions and challenging the assertions contrived out of generational dogma, we are perceived to have crossed the line. By questioning we have lobbed the first stone. This brings me to the next point.

I read the following quote in an essay published by D. Todd Christofferson, an LDS Apostle.

“We need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith and who can defend the truth of Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant atheism.”

I find two things interesting about this quote. The first is the concept of Moral Relativism. Stated simply moral relativism is the idea that morals and social moirés adapt to the needs of time and culture. It additionally accepts that the morals of one tribe may be vastly different the morals of another. To deny that Moral Relativism is alive and well in the truest believing Christians and their religions is manipulative. Ask, "why it is we do not sell our daughters into slavery anymore" and you inevitably get the response that ‘it was okay in that time and culture but it is not okay now.‘ Why don’t we practice polygamy in Utah now? Moral Relativism!

The second thing I found interesting was the term Militant Atheists. I Googled the term . I found several calls to action by Christians to defeat the militant atheists but I did not find a single atheist militia. The idea of actively pursuing the truth and questioning everything is considered a militant act? Are fundamentalists militant? What about Mormon missionaries who wish to bring me a message of Jesus Christ, are they militant Mormons?

On a daily basis I am the recipient of messages from religious people. Their facebook posts, blogs, politics, invitations to attend meetings, and television programming. I am not sure why, when an atheist asks a question or directly addresses what he/she believes to be a fallacy of religion, we are being militant.




Why is the conversation so dangerous?

Who would have thought Roger Ebert Ponders Such Things

I liked this essay. My Facebook friend Fred Hunting posted this link and I think it is a worthy read. My favorite line was is final sentence. "I am more content with the question than I would be with an answer."

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/04/how_i_believe_in_g.html

This Sums it up

I have not seen a more comprehensive explanation of what atheism is. The video takes a few jabs at what most religious folks have to say about an atheists morality and other agruments against atheism.

Children are the Challenge-Jessica

As a parent we make decisions we hope are right for our children and we don’t find out if it was the right choice until many years later. For me it was the decision my wife and I made to raise our children without religion. 23 years ago I was an agnostic with atheist leanings and Lisa was a quiet Christian with Mormon leanings. Today as you well know I am a full blown atheist. Lisa is, I believe, a quiet Christian who has little to do with the LDS faith but allows her husband to go on and on about his beliefs.

I have been known to say out loud that exposing your children to organized religion is tantamount to child abuse. I recently finished Christopher Hitchens’ book God is not Great- How Religion Poisons Everything. He makes a case for religion as a form of child abuse but mostly focuses on the ritualistic abuses including circumcision and other forms of genital mutilation. From my experience it is the emotional fodder that I was most concerned about with regard to my children.
This is the first in a series of five entries I will make on this topic( I only have five children so five is enough and six is too many). I am starting with Jessica. She is not my first born and so you can see I am addressing her out of turn but she is the one I feel represents the best argument for avoiding indoctrination but also represents as a parent how I have failed to fully mitigate the results of the outcome.

Jessica is now 19. She is a beautiful child with a strong spirit. She is smart, very empathetic, and wracked with guilt. According to her mother, she is closer to her Dad in personality than to her mother. When I became the father of a daughter I thought the most important thing I could do for her is to help instill in her the belief that she could do anything and be anything she chooses. I wanted her to know that she could be successful without a man in her life and to find her version of success independent of her relationships with men.

When Jessica was about six she stopped dinner to tell us we needed to have a blessing on the food. This had been modeled at her grandparent’s home but not in our home. She was told that she could pray quietly to herself but the rest of us were hungry and we would continue on with the activity of eating, Several months later we were at my in-laws’ home having dinner. They asked one of the family members if they would give a blessing on the food. Jessica piped up and said, “Ooohhhh my dad doesn’t like it when you pray at the table. Well actually, it’s okay to pray….Just don’t say anything about god or Jesus Christ!” This of course brought an awkward moment of silence to the table with disapproving eyes fixed upon yours truly.

During same period in her life her uncle made a point coming up to our home in Taylorsville, Utah and picking her up to take her to the LDS ward in Lehi, Utah. Her grandmother bought her a children’s version of the Book of Mormon. For me this was intrusion and I objected loudly to both. The visits to church ended. However I was not permitted to throw the BOM out. I believe the book is in a box in my basement this very day.

I mentioned before that Jessica is wracked with guilt. I have empathy for this trait because I personally feel guilty for things I haven’t done yet. When she was in first grade she came home from school and I asked her how her day went. She looked at me and burst out in tears. “I think I cheated.” I asked her why she believed this and she said,” I was taking a test and I looked up and I accidently saw the answers on my friend’s paper.”

Irreconcilable guilt is my number one reason for avoiding indoctrination of my children at a young age. For a child like Jessica this guilt can be debilitating. Jessica is very obsessed about doing the right thing. Not because she has a Christian background and is concerned about heaven and hell but because she really tries to be good because it is the right thing to do. She has a strong moral compass and has not had a significant exposure to Christianity. Now this strong moral compass has not inspired her to do the dishes when she asked or to clean her room but she will not mistreat anyone intentionally and would not sleep for days if she had believed she had. Jessica has relationships with homosexuals, Mormons, and kids on the fringe. She is able to appropriately determine what is appropriate and what she wants no part of.

Some of the most heated discussions with her brothers include sexist comments, homo-insensitive remarks made without regard to sensitivity. So ask you can see the experiment worked….success! Not so fast. There have been other consequences to raising my oldest daughter without religion.

Jessica has attended some functions with the young women’s group attached to her friend’s LDS ward. On one event she was wearing a shirt that both her mother and I approved of and felt that it was flattering on her. She was pulled aside and told the shirt showed too much and was asked to pull it up. Jessica was very self conscious afterword and has never worn the shirt again.

Jessica is at the age where she is looking for relationships and dating is definitely on the agenda. However, in Utah where Mormonism dominates the culture, she finds that she is not “good enough” for many of the boys in our community. There is significant pressure to assimilate into the LDS culture. Most of the boys who find her cute cannot reconcile their desire to date her with the fact she will not be able to go to the temple with them and she is not willing to convert. Unfortunately, Jessica takes this personally.

I am not without fault in this dilemma either. As she would let it be known that she liked a boy whom we knew to be LDS I would ask her, “…to what end?” I would then cite one of my favorite lines from The Fiddler on the Roof: “A bird may love a fish but where would they make a home together.”

I live in an area dominated by the LDS church and it is not normal to allow your child to date a non-Mormon without significant parental intervention. If the subject of your affection is not willing to convert, significant pressure is placed on the child to terminate the relationship. Now I know this tribal response is common in other religions….my point of reference is the LDS church.

Jessica doesn’t know, at 19, what she believes. She is reluctant to challenge any of her friends’ religious beliefs or to ask direct questions about the doctrine because she wouldn’t want to offend anybody. She really struggles to find where she fits in and sometimes believes that she will never be taken seriously by the boys because she is not willing to convert. As her father I believe she is an amazing young lady with a ton of actual and potential assets. It is my desire that she not convert to any religion because I think it would be disastrous for her in the long run. I want her to fit in but there is reality that as a family we are slightly different.

Out of the closet

In my first post I indicated that I posted my religious beliefs as agnostic on my Facebook page. I changed that about two months ago and last week I put my first link to my blog on my Facebook page. Most folks who know me know that I am not a religious man. Many also know that I have strong opinions and that I am not afraid to speak my mind. Most are still a little uncomfortable with the idea that I am an atheist.

This is not new information for this blog but I did find my oldest daughter Jessica's response kind of interesting. She said something like 'why do you have cause trouble.' Jessica has some difficulty with the fact that we do not fit into the traditional LDS (Mormon) mold in our little LDS neighborhood. During the recent production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat the cast (most) met to have a pre-show prayer. Jessica, was asked to join and she opted out. For her there was and admitted awkwardness. She feels like we don't fit in and that further exasperated by the conversations about the LDS faith, garments and when it is appropriate to not wear them, issues of morality that she does not agree with, and the idea that she wants to fit in but doesn't.

So this simple display of my atheism was troubling to my daughter because she is struggling with much doubt and still exploring what the world holds for her. She also finds that she runs up against folks who profess to "know" and she does not find any solace in their "knowing" because it does not ring true for her. Having a father who is an open atheist is like having parents who are hippies in a yuppie neighborhood. I think she finds the prospect of people knowing a little uncomfortable because she is already on the outside looking in.

My proclamation of atheism is not about knowledge but about doubt. What I do know is that religion has not given me any comfort. There are too many unanswered questions and too many folks who with arrogance fail to answer the questions but tell me I need to have faith.

staylds.com helpful? dangerous?

A recent Salt Lake Tribune article discussed a website that was designed to help those who are having questions about their faith in the LDS (Mormon) Church reconcile the church’s short comings and misrepresentation and to encourage them to stay anyway (www.staylds.com). I have reviewed some of the content on this website and think it is a sad statement about our addiction to religion whether the facts support the claims or not.



On the above website I found a link to this video clip which discusses the discrepancies between what is taught as church doctrine and history and what the fact of the record reveals. It is designed to help faithful members understand why folks leave and then to encourage them to help their friends and neighbors to stay and accept the fact that although there are huge problems with the official doctrinal history they can choose to accept the portions of it that resonate with them personally and ignore the portions that do not. If that does not work it encourages them to stay active for the association with good people and opportunity of service. I watched the entire 57 minutes of the video and found nothing new but I did find it disturbing that, at the end of the day, the reason for membership is now “association” and not the truth. The one point that I found fascinating was the idea that if you leave because this church has problems; you have to consider what church does not and then you should choose the lesser of the two evils.

As someone who struggled through a crisis of faith and moved on, I find the strategy of staying for association unhealthy and potentially emotionally dangerous. First, there is the constant exposure to the idea that you will not reach your spiritual potential. There is nothing in the official doctrine that supports an a la carte approach the religion. Either the prophet, and all of his predecessors, were infallible and the mouth piece of God or they were not. If the latter is true then the church is not. If the prior is true, then you must follow the doctrine as it has been outlined historically or risk judgment in the last days.

In the video and the website there is an acknowledgement, that once someone decides to leave the Mormon Church, they face ostracism from family, friends and neighbors who already know and love them for the content of their character but are threatened by their crisis of faith. I had a recent discussion with a devout member of the LDS Church who acknowledged they shun information and people who are potentially threatening to their testimony. As an open atheist and a former Mormon in a tight-knit Mormon community I found this ostracism to be a factor. We have had our children come home crying because they were not allowed to play with children in the neighborhood. There is also the pervasive cliquish mentality that tends to make non-believers feel inadequate. So what is the push to keep these folks in the religion if there are doctrinal doubts for both the producers of the video and the administrators of the website? What is the motivation to encourage the doubters to avoid websites like www.postmormon.org or www.exmormon.org? Both the video and the website claim to not endorse the apologist sites like FARMS and FAIR but both make reference to these organizations and the Staylds.com links to the sites. There is no link to www.postmormon.org or www.exmormon.org. Why would you ask someone to stay with an abuser or encourage them to drink poison after adding sugar to make it sweeter. Both postmormon.org and exmormon.org have empathy and understanding for the stress that comes with first finding that your faith is not true and then realizing you may loose your family and neighbors over it.

For me this brings the larger question regarding religion. If you doubt the divinity and infallibility of the prophets then why is it so hard to acknowledge that religion is man made? What is the drunkenness that drives us to attend church, any church, and then obscures our ability to ask questions and demand answers that actually answer the questions? The most frustrating pro-argument for me is the response “this is what I believe”. What is your basis for belief? A feeling is not proof. I have found that most Mormons, Christians, and other religious folks do not understand the context in which their religions were formed. Religion was not given to us by God it was created by man. We find ourselves at odds with an established religion and we create another to suit us. And thus, we are creating another religion when we become a la carte Mormons.

Doubt

Much has been said lately about Chris Buttars comments about homosexuals recently in the media. It is slightly scary at what level of conviction he made those statements and at what level of conviction that those who think the same way agree. There is a certainty that their belief system is fact, supported by a sacred text that was inspired by god and that it is the absolute truth.

However this certainty is not reserved for homosexuals. We see it as the pious justify all of their policies and beliefs. Abortion is murder, god said...contraception is a sin, god said....the United States is a Christian Nation...god said. You get the picture. With this certainty comes a calling to wield a sword and to strike down all evil in the world. This power, given by god, results in oppression of minorities, women, homosexuals, non-believers, and those who are not of their faith.

When I was five there was certainty there was a Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, and an Easter Bunny. When I was 11, I wanted so bad for those to be real but I started to ask questions and soon abandoned them as icons. When I was 12, a devout LDS boy living in a home with parents who were not active in the church, I started to see how poorly my family was treated and I started to ask questions. By the time, I was 14 I was having a "Crisis of Faith" and my attendance became sporadic. When I was 16, I was ordained a priest and within the year I was a self proclaimed atheist.

I didn't really know at 16 if I was an atheist or a Mormon. What I knew was I had doubt. That doubt led me on a journey. I questioned, read, asked questions and demanded answers....all led me to more doubt, more questions and a deeper search. Not one text but many. My journey was first a search for affirmation that the god I loved for the last 16 years was. It, over time, morphed into a journey to prove he was not. As I have aged and seasoned the message has tempered. I no longer quest to prove god does not exist but to ask hard questions. I do not find the old stand by "you have to have faith" to be good enough.

I recently watched the film "Religulous" by Bill Maher. Bill Maher is, by all accounts, an atheist. The film and the sarcasm contained within is my type of humor and I honestly enjoyed it from an entertainment standpoint. However, the message at the end of the film made me stop and really think. Maher discusses DOUBT! He discusses, as I did at the beginning of this post, that it is in certainty that we are called to action to forward our cause. However with a little doubt, a little humility, we pause. I am sure enough of the path I have chosen to continue my journey, I however have enough doubt that I am not going try to convince you that you should join me. I will however question your assertions not as a means to sway you from your belief but in an attempt to lessen my doubt!